and i thought

of you...of me...of bigger things of silly things.
I thought of how lonely I am on this road at night by myself, and maybe this is directly correlated to my life.
I thought that there has to be a God to make a sky so grand and guide me home.
I thought about crying...and I'm not sure why.
I thought about turning around and staying one more night because there will be sooo many before ill lay with him again.
I thought about a ticket because I was speeding my ass off.
I thought about my friends, I prayed for my friends.
I thought about the time...all the time we've been doing this and why? why we're still doing this...
I thought I had a CD to change my mood but I could only play love songs.
I thought about next fall and football season and the lack of contact the frustration the heartache
I thought I could save myself from that if I ended it all now but then I knew I'd be entirely alone
I thought of us when its just us and that he is not the same person when the crowd shows up. not really a bad thing, I like that I get something no one else will ever see.
I thought about our differences. I love to hold hands, he hates to hold hands.
I thought of the other girls, if there are any, and I was all of over come with jealousy.
I thought of sleeping alone again.
I thought that those giant water tanks, the ones that look like golf balls and that maybe when the coast is clear giants come out and play.
I thought of pulling over and putting on your shirt.
I thought of you...I thought of me...I thought of us, the lack there of, the us more so. and while I was thinking of some really silly things and singing really sappy songs, I was hoping that you might hav been, just maybe thinking of me.

xo

ps I definitely wrote that last night and fell asleep before I posted it. I woke up in the middle of the night and took a shower and when I first stepped in and the hot water beaded over my brown skin I smelled just like you. and as I slipped into your t-shirt I slipped back into you.
Goodnight Love. Good Morning Loneliness.