retail therapy

american apparrell hoodie. every color. fashion staple.

amercan pp. the ultimate v-neck. in every color, yes. simple.

alloy. teal handbag. clasic.

my one true loves...supras. suprano high. skateboard ready.

scarf! any and every color and pattern. clean.

aaaawww tha navy weaved bag. delicious!

i would definitely buy my boifriend this, if he existed lol. hell, ill just buy it for my damn self!

the cashmoney necklace. karmaloop. self explanitory.

karmaloop. basic sophistication.

the back and fron of a married to tha mob t-shirt. karmaloop. this is my new mentallity fyi lol

and once again. american app. the clasic t-shirt. yes, in every color! cnt beat that with a stick!

these are screaming my name. alloy boots. i gotta have 'em theyre hott!

a word ta tha wise

let all who have any reasonable level of common sense, good judgement, and responsibility hear this:

realize what tha hell you got while you still have it, kuz baby once you lose it...its gone.

and if it was really meant to be yours God would have let you keep it. its not always about fighting for tha things you want, but being responsible with said things while you have them. if it was ever important to you, dnt mistreat it and abuse it. if you ever cherished it, hold it close, protect and nurture it.

my dudes:

hear ye hear ye gather tha fuck around! if you "love" her...tell her, hold her, and do anything it takes to keep her. dnt wait 'til she's walking out tha door to pull her back. we'll take a lot before realize it was too much a long time ago. dnt push us there.

ladies, ladies, ladies:

if that's ya man-claim him. in front of anybody, that's yo man. if you "love" him...stand by him, support him, and stop being insecure! they will never tell us everything we want to hear. but when they mean it, they'll say it. dnt put him thru stupid tests, he fail. every time, yes, he'll fail. they dnt mean to be so dumb, educate him him, dnt belittle and mock him.

with that said, realize that without trust there is no love. snoopin' thru phones and reading texts are only going to start stupid drama, trust him/her whole hearted. there's some knowledge for ya dome.

throw back!

aight ima really do this later but i just had ta see if anyone remembers this song......

nelly is you is or is you aint?!
lmao it goes...

ghetto girl: is you is or is you aint gon give me a ride
nelly: she said!
ghetto girl: is that you in tha lamborghini? is that yo car parked outside?!

me and aleesa ran across this this weekend-talk about laughter

more muzik, maya

Tears are forming in your eyes,

a storm is warning in the skies,

the end of the world it seems,

you bend down and you fall on your knees,

well get back on your feet ,yeah,

don't look away, don't run away,

baby it's only life,

don't lose your faith,don't run away,

it's only life.

you were always playing hard,

never could let down your guard no,

but you can't win, if you never give in,

to that voice within,

saying pick up your chin,

baby let go of it , yeah,

don't look away, don't run away ,

baby, it's only life.

don't lose your faith, don't run away,

baby it's only life.(repeat)

take your hesitance, and your self defense,

leave them behind it's only life,

don't be so afraid of facing every day,

just take your time, it's only life,

i'll be your stepping stone, don't be so alone,

just hold on tight,it's only life,

oh..don't look away, don't run away,

baby it's only life,

don't lose your faith, don't run away,

baby, it's only life (repeat),

it's only life, it's only life,don't look away...

kate voegele-it's only life

flashlights

God has a great sense of humor! so im at work, loose, sleepy, and bored and all of the sudden.....THE LIGHTS GO OUT! im like hell, lets go home! but as we're standing around fanning and laughing they come back and our supervisor emerges from her office to point out the ever so obvious "we're back! log in and reconnect your phones" DUH DORA! im still semi new and i knew that would be a rather advantageous decision, seeing as how its an insurance call center..idk call me crazy but maybe we need our phones! she's so slow. but ya seeing as how the lights are back, i guess ill work. thanks ta Live i seem ta be doing that more and more.

scratch that im going to lunch.

(moaning and groaning)

man i woke up this morning...still drunk. im at my job tryin ta act like im just chill-IM TWACKED! sleepy as hell and tipsy...this might get interesting. and all the craziest of crazy old ppl keep calling me yelling in my damn ear, im like fool i aint deaf-im 19! slick told this old man "i dnt care" and then this old lady is shuffling like 100 papers to find her doctors name and this damn baby is in the background crying. Jesus, have mercy!


but kid we kicked it last night, all my pretty gilrs and our homies. i like how after a few drinks everybody starts losing their damn mind tho lol. i tell ya, vodka will bring tha slut out of you. i was capturing all tha moments of drunken lusts. all the random articles of clothing. all the BAD DECISIONS. if yo dude could see you now...damn. i played it safe for the most part, kept the sober front, and grabbed the camera. i must say tho man, i love my girls-my niggas! even posh spice husband couldnt kick it like we kicks-bitch we kicks it!



drinks on deck, i highly reccommend:

clear mind

so my homegirl was feeling a lil "thick" so she asked me "maya, will you take me running?" hell i look like?! but i had just had a convo with tha same friend, Live, who is continually jinxing me, everything i have ever said has brought about the adverse, ima start watching my tongue around him. he must be completely in tuned with all tha things my life has coming for me. in a convo about his hectic job i told him my job is easy, i read magazines and chill all day. the next day, i worked like a slave. after a very dramatic drunken nite with friends i told him i rarely cry. the next day i boo whoo'ed like a baby. in another convo about him and his marine style workout i told i haven't really did anything since basketball. i ran a mile last nite! so thank you Live, for completely ruining my lazy, fat life.

my homie used ta be a sprinter, she's 5'3, and runs in bursts. i'm 5'9 1/2, with a long stride. she couldnt hang...i left her. lol sorry boo. ipod'ed up i was in tha zone. smooth sailing. a clarity came over me and i found myself listening to my heart-praying. alone on the roads, if youve ever been to my side of antioch the streets are usually wet from natural springs. street lights make a gleaming tunnel to an unknown destination-i'll choose the one less traveled.i figured it would make all the difference, in some poetic sense of life choices. (robert frost the road not taken). so im full stride, steady pace. as im cooling down walkin up my street i feel a certain relaxation, triumph for having completed a mile with such ease. maybe i still got it. and now im thinking ill make this a habit, this strong run of clarity...ya i will.

somethin for ya stereo

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part

You roll outta bed and down on your knees

And for the moment you can hardly breathe

Wondering was she really here?

Is she standing in my room?

No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The giving up is the hardest part

She takes you in with your crying eyes

Then all at once you have to say goodbye

Wondering could you stay my love?

Will you wake up by my side?

No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand

Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Baby won't you get them if i did?

No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart The waking up is the hardest part

john mayer

dnt be sleepin on tha kid, he's sick

restless...

i am restless. my mind is wandering, weaving, in and out of this dry ass reality. daydreaming...fantasizing. im beginning to sew together the threads of this actual life with the vibrant ideas my mind can conjure. if my life was like the one i replay in my mind, i'd be ridiculously happy! and its not even that im unhappy but as life kicks up a storm i find myself swept away all scattered by the excitement, but as the dust settles i realize that just as quickly as it begins...it all ends. and then im back to the monotonous tune of this every day song. sing along as im walking down the street whistling this.
aleesa (formerly known as face) is home-thank God. one of my truest of friends has come back into my life like a beautiful ray of sun, until we both realized...there's still nothing to do! well damn... once we've conquered the mountain of tattoos we'll be left with movies and pineapples-n-cottage cheese..."gag"
such is life...

johnta austin "the one that got away"

[Talking:]Yo this game is over man,I can't do this no moreTired of frontin'Life ain't the sameI miss youI need you

[Verse 1:]It's been way too long,

Since you up and gone,

I'm madder than ever cause you won't pick up the phone,

And I'm tired of actin' like I ain't hurtin'

I told you, "you could leave",

I helped you pack your bags

Who knew that when you left,

I'd be askin you back

It ain't about my ego cause I hate to lose,

But more than that, my heart's been bruised

[Chorus:]Life's too hard, can't even breathe

Wherever you are, reach out to me

I got this chick, that chick,

But it don't matter,

Cause I still love the one that got away,

And I'm in need of, your kiss and your touch

Girl I'm screaming, I miss you so much

I got this house, that whip,

But it don't matter,

Cause you're still the one that got away

[Verse 2:]Do I ever cross your mind?You know the rest

Try to relax, but I'm stressed,

Thoughts of you, keep me pressed

Holdin' hands, stealin' kisses

I'm at the bar, makin' wishes

Now I'm twisted, trippin', tryin' like hell to fix it

Girl I got to get it

Back to the way it was, back to happy times,

Back when I was yours, back when you were mine

It ain't about my ego, cause I hate to lose,

But more than that, my heart's been bruised

[Chorus:]Life's too hard, can't even breathe

Wherever you are, reach out to me

I got this chick, that chick,

But it don't matter,

Cause I still love the one that got away,

And I'm in need of, your kiss and your touch

Girl I'm screaming, I miss you so much

I got this house, that whip,

But it don't matter,

Cause you're still the one that got away

[Verse 3:]This can't be right,

How did I become the reason you ain't at home,

I'm out my mind,

I don't want to be the reason why I'm alone

I need one more thing

I need one more try

I need one more day

I need one more night

This ain't about my ego, though I hate to lose,

But more than that, my heart is bruised

It's been way too long,

Since you up and gone,

I'm madder than ever cause you won't pick up the phone,

And I'm tired of actin' like I ain't hurtin'

[Chorus: x2]Life's too hard, can't even breathe

Wherever you are, reach out to me

I got this chick, that chick,

But it don't matter,

Cause I still love the one that got away,

And I'm in need of, your kiss and your touch

Girl I'm screaming, I miss you so much

I got this house, this whip,

But it don't matter,

Cause you're still the one that got away

...

tell me that song is not tha certified shyt! lol just a lil somethin for ya speakers...

-xoxo

i got 99 problem but my kicks aint 1

i want 'em now!

supras and creative recreations!

stressed at best

my life is a trip, a muthafuckin' trip! i swear! i cnt catch fucking break! excuse this post-im pissed. but im sayin', i payed 120.50 on a speeding ticket back in may. what can i say, im so fly i fly lol na but i went ahead dropped tha lil stack and im assuming its all gucci-uhm...no-HELL NO! i got stopped on 65s yesterday and this honky tonk trooper gon tell me your license is suspended, get out of the car. huh?! ma'am get out of the car and come to the back. slick smacked my ass and searched my cargos. cuffed me-yes nigga cuffed me! im lookin like wtf?! he cuts me a deal, call somebody to come get you and park your car otherwise youre going to jail (echo: jail jail jail) cool right, WRONG! my damn treo is frozen! my life! i coulda slick pulled this off had my phone bn on but nooooo that would be too much to expect from a 4 hundred dollar phone. maybe its just me but i dnt drop cash ta buy bullshyt! i like nice things and it only seems right that the shyt should wrk. im in tha back is this car heated, crying like a bitch! coincedentally i had just told a friend of mine i havnt cried in forever. whamp whamp this kid is always jinxing me! so my mom silly tail is like huh? where are you? what happened? im like fool this trooper gave me thiry mins-BUST A MOVE WOMAN! so i get back ta my job and call tha dmv license bullshyt place and they givin' me a whole different story than what i was originally told. why do they hire dumbassz for public service!? i guess ill call that the end of yesterday...

so today i hop up and drive ta east Jesus! where in tha hell is Hart Ln? exactly! FAR! so i get there and its like the dammit club in this bytch-DUNK! you ever noticed how out of order the little number system is they have...maybe its just me. so i get up there and this lil phillipino man is like, maya...that means little bird in my language(little spanish voice)...uhm-so! fix my license homeboi! $140.00?! but yall fucked up! damn, swipe it! ok and $23 for a license?! oh my hell! swipe it. total $163 + $30 for the half a tank fillup this morning= $193.00 and its only 12 o'clock. i still gotta spend $60 on contacts around $60 on a new tattoo possible $30 on dinner and out for one of my bff's birthday events! tha kid is not made of money...looks like im hittin up the ADM: automatic daddy money.

this a "whoa is me" kinda post kuz i just cnt seem ta keep my head above water.

excuse the language im a very nice young lady but thats some bullshyt! i need a drink.

xoxo

sunday afternoon's random thoughts

im a very disatisfied sprint customer. this damn summer sucks! me and summer '08 are on terrible terms. period. i have a treo and this bitch freezes like dry ice! im like o-m-g! can i catch a damn break. btwn working like a slave, my dumb ass fam, this silly "relationship" aka friendships and ppl period, all my broken promises to myself,and this bullshyt phone im fucking stuck!
i dnt lie and i do my best to be very upfront and honest with whomever i call myself to be "dealing" with-that has never been more misunderstood and ill received than this summer. if you dnt want the honest truth, dnt ask me. if you wanta run tha risk of me breaking your face, ask me. i would never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings but im running out of "nice" so im left with just SPICE! lol
my futile attempts at being grown and employed are not at all what i was expecting, and if this is adulthood i revolk my application. i hav no intentions of working like a slave and never receiving any gratitude.
next, "relationships"...nigga WHAMP, WHAMP. 'nough said. there is really no pt in looking for love or the like. bump it, i got a crush on me! now answer these questions: what's your fave ice cream? cookie dough. what's your fav soda? rootbeer. like music? LOVE music. well damn-i love YOU! lol (inside) relationships/ friendships, all that, are built on the littlest of similarities. if you like the things i like, well hell i like you. im not inclined to a lot of change but i do like to try new things, now wether i incoporate them into my life is entirely up to me. i dnt respond well to ludicrous pressures. stability is very appealing to me. and maybe i cnt cook, but i can grill. and i think im a great gf and one day ill make an even a better wife. so there! lol
i just had a few things on my mind and a lil spare time...so i thought i'd drop a line or ninety lol so there ya go.

-xoxo

faith and grace

im a Christian. i love God, esp for all the miraculous things he's done in my life and for those around me. my faith should be that of prophets and such, instead i find myself questioning and struggling with this gigantic concept of God. how could someone love complete strangers enough to die for them? save them and give up Himself? like thats wild to me! but i know i need HIm to get thru every day and that this, all of this, is way bigger than me. there has to be something more to this thing called life, right? i think the idea of heaven and hell, this awesome all knowing figure is just mind boggling! like whaaaaat??? but thats just it-faith. considering that i do believe why then is so hard for me to put my faith in Him? i owe him alot more than my trust, thats for __ sho'! to set myself aside and let go, let God, is very hard for me. i have the constant desire to run things but im learning that i cnt do anything w/o Him. thusly i decided to re-up my soul. turning over all this hesitation and meet Him at the well, im thirsty Lord for knowledge and understanding for faith and reassurance. im reading this book Meet Met at the Well: Take a Month to Water Your Soul. it really has me addressing a lot of the personal issues and flaws that keep me from relying fully in Him and not on my own understanding, i clearly know jack! so i just wanted to encourage you to get to know Him because He already knows you. i think this came about partly because i was reading, obviously, but because an old friend was in a really bad wreck like if you see her car you'd think "theres no way!" ya well there's God's way and because you dnt take a bullet to the neck and walk away because there is a moment in every body's life that should have been the last moment but He always has the last say so. for that i thank you, i praise you, and im working on really trusting You.

-love-

art in ink

so i come into work today and do my usual, check cnn-keep my dome on re-up, read some blogs-hundreds and the arabparrot to name a few, and then i usually head over to bossip.com and see what ignorance and foolishness our beloved celebrities have been up to or down to... ya dig
so today on my happy scroll down i stumble across this! rhi-rhi and all her gorgeous tatts! ja ja ja jealous! i love tatts and i want more. i want hers! so me and face have planned to commence on our ink endeavours and im most def copping some arabic and that love on the finger-illy kid, illy. i wanta tuck a lil something behind my ear to accompany my bullet scar, i was thinking a cross, simple elegant and faith curled behind my ear. wat ya think? i dnt really care. so keep it ta yo self. face fell in love with on she has written up her side in arabic or maybe sanskrit...either way thats dope. ill have ta take some pics when we're done and show our finished products!
xoxo

sew me a poem

This quilt he’s built comforts him with warm guilt

from all the brokem hearts that were stitched in it’s patchwork

and he’s reminded everytime he lays his head

and he’s reminded every morning he makes his bed.........

saw this on traviesblog.com (travis from gym class heroes.) i thought it was quite dope. idk if he wrote it but i stole it! lol

kissing on a park bench

it all comes crashing down. just as swiftly as it was built, all the hard work-end. but for some strange reason im oddly indifferent to this present loss of love. maybe because it was never real love. too much physical, no where near enough mental, disquised by his spiritual, i got lost in the emotional. but one little word and there he goes. walking out, without a word. bye. never under estimate the mac in me. i pull 'em like tug-a-war. lol. na but really i can do bad all by myself. i dnt need anybody to constantly bring me down, crush my feelings, or step on my heart. love songs have beome so corny to me. i guess im losing my deep infatuation with love and realizing that where ever your mind wanders, your heart will follow.

im a romantic. i wnt lie, i love love, the idea of it has always consumed me. im not easily swept off my feet and i tend to keep a very level mind, that really explains a lot actually...but i saw this picture and thought it was just precious. the "relationship" in the beginning of this something close to my classic "whamp-whamp". im single. not really lonely but alone. i kinda like the freedom but i will say i do admit i miss the comfort and support.

im kinda picky tho...but i rarely stick to my guidelines, im curious. height is a turn on and a pretty smile is always a nice addition. i like funny boiz, i need a good laugh. i do like brown skin but a god caramel guy is cool. high yellow is out-sorry red bones. every good girl loves a mama's boi, im a good girl lol. being from st louis i have a city mentality but southern boiz have their charm too. idk im just doing me, solo dolo for a while i guess. im taking applications tho lol

<-xoxo->

its only life i guess

i wanta be happy. this summer has been so LAME! we are most def beefin', summer '08. nothing super dope as happened. i had all these expectations for this summer and whamp whamp! nothing has come to pass. i have no new tatts, i havnt shopped for my new love of DC fashion, nor hav i bn completely swept off my feet. while i hav a strong infatuation for one i am still drawn to another...my indecision often leaves me ass out. i do prefer to have my cake and eat it too but i am quite upset when ive made my bed and am force to lie in it. i hav this new song kate something "its only life" i really like its mild atempt at being optomistically pessimistic. but i really do love life but when im left with nothing to show for all my stress and tears i do long to throw in the towel. i just have so much to say, to express, i feel so strongly about somethings but can never...see! stuck-fuck! maybe things will get better when face gets home...or maybe not-we'll prolly just be depressed together. im about to leave my monotonous 8 ta 5. toodles.

one

muzik

if you learn nothing else from this blog, youll quickly realize, i LOVE muzik! all kinds this is country but i love it. alot of my fav song are country love songs, just fyi. so here's one for your heart and soul. enjoy...

Waiting On A Woman

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall

He sat down in his overalls and asked me

''You waitin' on a woman?''

I nodded yeah and said, ''How 'bout you?''

He said, ''Son since nineteen fifty-two I've been

Waitin' on a woman.

''When I picked her up for our first date

I told her I'd be there at eight

And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty

She said, ''I'm sorry that I took so long

Didn't like a thing that I tried on.

''But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty

Yeah, she'll take her time but I don't mind

Waitin' on a woman.

He said, ''The wedding took a year to plan

You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous

Waitin' on a woman."
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, ''I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman.

''And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it

Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife

Might as well go on and get used to it

She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind

Waitin' on a woman.

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind

Waitin' on a woman.

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind

Waitin' on a woman...

by brad paisley

my coworker homie bunny, her husband sent her this...

how sweet right?!

i must say thats alot more sentimental than flowers.

power of prayer

so you know my homegirl? my bff? face! ya, her. well lately ive bn catching little hints that something in her fam is going..wrong, i guess. well rumors are tru and always trust your instincts. her daddy's sick. in and out 0f the hospital for TWO WEEKS! and she most def didnt tell me, but thats her-always trying ta be tough. she seems kool but i doubt it. her and her padre arent tha closest of duo's but family is family and i know seeing him weakened is hard for her. esp being that she's so far away and cnt do anything to help-tough. but ya thats been on my mind today and driving to work this was my prayer:

God,

my bff's dad is sick. and ive seen the miracles Youve done, the lives Youve saved, the ailments Youve healed-mostly because Youve done all of that for me. and im asking that Youll do it again now. move in his life in the way no man, no medicine, no science can. im placing this in Your hands because there's left that we can do. idk if its really bad but before it gets any worse, heal. and if this is Your will, to take him now, as untimely and hard as it will be please dnt let him suffer, dnt let him worry. take him in peace, in love. and assure his family that You do all things in due time for good reason. im turning him over to You, Lord. please?

amen.

so if your reading this and youve just read that prayer, i thank you for your prayers. she's my bf and her family is like my family...

do you wanta ride?

ppl look for love like waiting in line for a rollercoaster. all tha anticipation and inching along. you catch little glimpses of the ride thru the trees and giggle with excitement. i could see you from across a room and giggle with excitement. so your turn comes and you take a seat buckle up and kick your feet thinking i waited my whole life for this! and youre off! it all moves so fast youre overwhelmed with tha force, overwhelmed with the feelings. a few quick twists and turns, a few late nites and early morn's, and you want more. i wanted more. and then its that hill-you know it creeps up so slow like the few good weeks in love and you look up and youre at the top of the world-head over heels...drop. everything we built everything we made comes crashing down-rock bottom. and there will be other hills and more drops but none will rock you like that first. and like those loop to loop flips i bent over backwards for you. dnt do this and never saythat-i did that, all that. and then you open your eyes and realize...its over. back in tha tunnel where it all began. you left yo lunch on the tracks, you broke my heart when you turned your back.

i tried...i did. i changed...i did.

pride is stronger than love. and this-all this-its bigger than us. i set myself aside, to believe you-to trust you. you never believed me, consequently im not sure if you ever loved me. with no faith in everything we shared, loving you is like movig mountains. my past is just that, my past. i cnt change the mishaps life brings just like i cnt change the caller when my phone rings. who ever fucked you over, she fucked me over too. kuz its her fault that you cant see past you. but just for the record, im not her. i do my best not to make you pay for the mistakes of him but im in debt to her...and ya i got issues but its official you got issues and even now i still miss you. but im watching the sky turn grey and the water washes the progress away.

it's the little things in life

i hav a relatively good life. its a little rocky right now but i dnt wanta disclose everything until im sure. ill keep ya posted tho dnt worry. so anywho, today has been a decent day but it took one little note to make it great.

life is full of the slightest moments that become huge happenings to those who take the time to appreciate it, i appreciate it.

i work the standard 8 ta 5 being that its summer and im a poor college student i take full advantage of my time. i have met several moderately dope individuals and ya i do enjoy their company for the most part. but there is one, we'll call her...bunny, ya bunny. so bunny is a newly wed and she has this husband, he's so adorable. i call him peter, ya like from family guy lol. but anywho back to the point...i hav had a decent day to spite other distractions my life has going on. so i left for lunch which was really good. check out guidos in cool springs! just a lil fyi.

but ya so relationships got me tweekin and unexpected "delays" hav me a lil...preocupied and of course the usual financial burdens but ima keep my head above water, Lord willing. so im walking back into the office from lunch and stuck my computer screen is a lil note...

"Maya,

Hope you have a wonderful day!

youre the BEST!"

the logic in me is like me?! syke!

the love in me is like omg! thats so sweet! she can never know how much this means...

bunny and me, we write these little notes from time ta time-a giggle, ya know. but God has a way of allowing these kinds of things ta happen right when ya need it most. God is love. so this little gesture took me back a little, back to being grateful.

life is beautiful and today it just took a little note to remind me...

appreciate the day, tomorrow may never come.

stop and smell the roses, everything has its seasons.

just take a minute and smile, its good for your health.

and tell someone you love them, that matter, that theyre the best; they prolly need ta hear that.

life has so many things to appreciate, dnt smack God's hand away when He offers you a blessing.

today, Bunny has been my blessing and i thank her.

-mm

true friends

ok ok ok. i really really miss a certain individual. my othr half, my comrad, my pal! gone for tha summer we're on different sides of the worlds, well at least thats how it seems. we hav all these plans-big dreams! we're gonna do this, ooh ya and that! and its gonna be great! so top that! we're a team! lol but really i was just sitting at work wondering whats "face" doing? i really wish she was here or even i was there...so if you read this bff...i really miss you but im proud of you and ill be right here whenever you come home.
-friends

that 4 letter word.

Habits

i haven't written a poem in so long
unless writing a poem
is like riding a bike
or swimming upstream
or loving you
it may be a habit that once aquired
is never lost

but you say i'm foolish
of course you love me
but being loved of course
is not the same as being loved because
or being loved despite
or being loved

if you love me why
do i feel so lonely
and why do i always wake up alone
and why am i practicing
not having you to love
i never loved you that way



-that junk is so dope. nikki always puts it just right.



Resignation

I love you
because the Earth turns round the sun
because the North wind blows north
sometimes
because the Pope is Catholic
and most Rabbis Jewish
because winters flow into spring
and the air clears after a storm
because only my love for you
despite the charms of gravity
keeps me from falling off the Earth
into another dimension
I love you
because it is the natural order of things
I love you like the habit I picked up in college
of sleeping through lectures
or saying I'm sorry
when I get stopped for speeding
because I drink a glass of water
in the morning
and chain-smoke cigarettes
all through the day
because I take my coffee Black
and my milk with chocolate
because you keep my feet warm
though my life a mess
I love you
because I don't want it
any other wayI am helpless
in my love for you
It makes me so happy
to hear you call my name
I am amazed you can resist
locking me in an echo chamber
where your voice reverberates
through the four walls
sending me into spasmatic ecstasy
I love you
because it's been so good
for so long
that if I didn't love you
I'd have to be born again
and that is not a theological statement
I am pitiful in my love for you
The Dells tell me Love
is so simple
the thought though of yours
ends indescribably delicious multitudinous
thrills throughout and through-in my body
I love you
because no two snowflakes are alike
and it is possible if you stand tippy-toe
to walk between the raindrops
I love you
because I am afraid of the dark
and can't sleep in the light
because I rub my eyes
when I wake up in the morning
and find you there
because you with all your magic powers were
determined that I should love you
because there was nothing for you but that
I would love you
I love you because you made me
want to love you
more than I love my privacy
my freedom my commitments
and responsibilities
I love you `cause I changed my life
to love you
because you saw me one friday
afternoon and decided that I would
love you

I love you I love you I love you



-because that touched every aspact of human nature and toyed with all the little ironic and hypocritical thing we do. i LOVE this poem because she loves her some him! lol

both by nikki giovanni, dnt sleep on ha she'll wake that ass up!

ya im a romantic but love like this is God's love, rue love. i want a love like this.

just a lil intro

ok...here goes.
im maya. and my life is very much an uphill battle which often time leaves me wounded and in need of serious repair. im doing this blog as an outlet, an expressive form of release. everything in this blog is tru, i hav no reason to lie and no desire to be lied to. all the ppl are real, tho i will never say their actual name, they are ppl in my life. so i guess, welcome to my life...buckle up, it's sure to be a bumpy ride.
-mizzmaya