Wednesday, December 17, 2008

7 am

I'm sick, fuck!
achey and cold sweats and hot flashes and bullshyt! I cnt even sleep...
I just took a few shots of nyquil we'll see what happens.
bestfriend ill help you learn to wink. ima winking wiz. I can do both eyes and alternate. maybe you're just wink retarded. Ill love you anyway tho.
Q&A:
why do ppl keep trying to kill me?
I still havnt found a reason for this hole in my neck or the deep tissue bruising in my back...so why?
why am I betrayed?
what's the purpose of my life? like after everything I've been thru, I should be dead so why...why am I still here?
where is happiness?
what happens when we die?

and thru all of these questions and more the only thing I've ever learned the answer I've ever gotten was......................faith. blind faith. things hoped for but unseen. wholehearted faith that to spite the fuckery of our lives, the short comings of our potential, and the fears and apprehensions that someone, somewhere loves us more than we could ever love ourselves. and I guess...ill take that, because its waaayy too scary to think I really am in this thing alone.

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