Sunday, November 30, 2008

im up

mr. wonderful called and woke me up "youre always sleep maya, do something productive" "no, youre always awake go to sleep. thus we'll be even"
good news! (in a im-really-proud-of-you-but-this-slick-cements-us-not-being-"us"-kinda-way) mr all american is officially eligible for next season and will actually start! yayy! crowd roars!! ya that means that all the outlandish workouts and bullshyt he's been doing hav been to prepare...so what the hell are they gonna do to him now?! ugh, i so cnt marry an athlete to spite living in separate cities and never being together thru the season he comes home to you all bruised and battered. that just break my heart to seem hurt like that, he already grunts like a old man! lol (wait, no pun-no really no pun) but ya im still really proud, he set out to do it and he did...go big orange! Good ol rocky top whoooow!!
oh tel me why this negro "shol" as in shol do... i was like wit yo country ass!
yesterday me and Valisa went to fridays and we're having a really good time and then i realize my homeboi who i slick dnt know that well we hav a class together but ive been to his house for a set or 2 but ya he works there. so apparently he s officially freaked out. tell me whats wrong with this scenario: he lives with hs ex but theyre ni longer together. definitely still sleeping in the same bed, but there is no "hott sex burning candles" and he wants ta know if ok that he's talking to 7 new girls! not done, and he proceeds to give this very vivid derscription of how they make this icecream brownie thing with lots of "moist""hot"etc you get the idea and the-yes THEN he gave this spoon the business...idk if thats gay so i no pun'ed it. so tell me, whats wrong with that??? anyone? please, speak up.....ok, ill tell you EVERYTHING everything is thoroughly wrong with that. he needs ta move out, slow the pimpin, and step away from the sppon! oh yes and the he asks...."hows you and yo man?" who i say "Reggie silly" excuse me? we're just friends "hell no! yall were way more than friends at the house..." heavens no! "yall were kissing!" hold the fuck up! we've never kissed. he knows, if we start somethin' its gon be some hott sex burning candles and the he gon be all sprung and our friendship would be ruined im trying to protect the poor boy. "damn is it like that...but forreal yall doin something you a damn liar you say yall not." i say we're not and i aint neva lied.
ya interesting convo he told me i havnt been fucked right?! ok sir, you need to step back, the hot sex burning candles is no match, you will get the heat. not YOU persay but someone...
being here for break really wasnt that bad, i did accomplish a portion of the work i set out to do. enough to not feel like a total slacker...and i did see some really great friends and i did get slightly too drunk but hey!.... i love aleesa mann like real talk she is my best friend-not the bestfriend, he's special, but she is my besty like female, whatever. and valisa griffin that kidd is a pocketful of fun! (not like a crotch rocket kinda pocket fun, hell...should i no pun that???) anywho ya most def had some good chats with the swag man himself mr P. stay tuned the vernacular is about to be ridiculous: willy and bob dammit! on debit baby!!
so today's itinerary.....
im up now, thank you mr wonderful
im gonna email myself all this work ive done
wait! tell me why my treo is receiving texts from yesterday! im like 11/29 its the 30th! treo is a bitch!
go check on my condo! (its being repainted in and out. extending the deck. hardwood floors. redoing bathrooms. just the works im really excited but i hope they realize im still leavin yall niggas! i gots ta bust a move)
ill probably be there for a while and wait to here that everyone made it back.
missed them fools somethin awful...
ok i guess i slick got shyt ta do so ill check back in...

xo out this bit!

someone please...

tell me why in the heavens I'm still wide-a-damn wake!!!
ugh...my life...this is some bonafide bullshyt

Friday, November 28, 2008

i just be fuckin up

i gave myself a list of assignments to do today and did i do them....nope! i did write two essays but i still have a slide show to do, rules to write, a psych movie evalution, and yes 2 more essays...so this is the new revised plan being that im going to kick it with some friends tonight instead of doing something constructive.
tomorrow! saturday November 29, 2008 i am.....
writing the other 2 essays
watching superbad and doing the movie evaluation
AND doing my laundry
-you may be saying "well Maya, what about all those group projects???"
ya well...
the rules are gonna wait til i get with my group
and the slide show is gonna wait til i get with my group

dnt say im procrastinating im simply shifting shyt around so i can do more nothing because we all know im damn good at that!

sounds like a plan to me!
take that Mr.Man i make all sorts of plans, all sorts of GOOD plans! im a muthaf'in planner!

this is my 200th post...

wow...i really run my mouth alot...

but ya, good morning world. i hav decided to turn my lonely frustrations into condtructive energy and rape these papers and knock the hinges off this hiomework! no rubber, no lube, im giving these papers the homework.
after i get back from MacDonalds and the gas station...ya, im procrastinating but perfection takes time. i dnt hav a watch so i hav to take time-chip the ripper!

since im here...
i had interesting chat with a friend of mine and it was the dammit-est things ever. i really hope she sees what she has with him and doesnt jack it! not saying she would...but i really hope she doesnt 'cause that kidds a keeper.
one of my friends is having issues, according to her latest installment of blogging, with her new love interest and i hate to see her frustrated but man i tell ya (i sounded like josh lmao) but bro...niggas and flies.
i havnt heard or talked ta the fank fank...very disappointing.
aight i got shyt ta get crankin on so....in the great words of Walt-P....

XO out this bit.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

when you want what youve never had you must do what youve never done.

im about to drown!

im up to my neck with shyt to do. ya ya ya go ahead and say it, "way ta procrastinate Maya" ya well fuck you! ive been busy! scratch that...i will pay thee no mind my life is currently full distractions and mishaps. but really i just took a sec and laid all the shyt i hav to do by sunday because on sunday when everyone rolls back into town i wnt be doing anything but kickin it, i already know. so thus i have to
1. write the rules for this black lit group project
2. write not 1 not 2 but 4 history essays!
3. do a slide show for psych
4. write a 3 page essay for psych on a movie character, im doing superbad!
5. get in touch with my psych group and my black lit group and get all these projects finished and prepared.
these are the 5 things that are gonna ruin my life for the next 2 days....

i would rather chill out do some laundry eat my ass off and tickle this bass for the weekend (all pun, yes i said tickle!)

health update! Marvin has been waiting on a heart AKA a hard drive. ya well thats a damn lie kuz this heffer AKA my mother hasnt even ordered his heart! thus that means all this time ive been askin about my liuttle boy she's been bold faced lying in my face! like if there is one thing i hate-HATE its a liar. so ya its thanksgiving and all and she better be damn thankful i aint snap on her ass! she almost got a "wit yo bitch ass! fake. SO fake!"

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

chatting with mica crayton

so in a rather fantastic convo with Mica i hav come to a conclusion that i hav long ago concluded but the way she spit it let me know that she's right. i wnt say what was discussed but i will say it was worthwhile.

ok since i hav your attention i would like to use this time to say that you, all of you, are failing! this rapid increase in boo'ing is fake! dori how dare you?! you bet not leave me. so yes im being spiteful and jealous but i wanta be boo'ed up too! =( "im all alone there's no one here beside me" and some of you will be saying what about "so and so" ya, what about him?..
hey! ive got a grand idea lets make some code names for these handful of individuals
ok so we have...
1- mr. man=yes from the summer. he rapidly became my fav and now we're back to strangers, mere facebook friends. passing hello's and random pointless texts. i kinda miss that kidd tho.
2- mr all american=from freshman year. now that he's off to another skool, i cnt be what he wants but i do care for him and i want him in my life. but this whole where is carmen sand diego deal gets old and frustrating! heart him tho, cnt help it...my piggy :)
3- mr wonderful-i say that with the slightest sarcasm. but he kinda just showed up one day and ya, he is textbook awesome, but being that he's got the golden opportunity to be gone for a semester...i dnt wanta get attached. and honestly, we lack that spark, and i go on instant connections. and while i definitely enjoy his company i dnt get that tickle like when mr man would walk into the room, and i dnt always smile at the thought of us like i do for mr all american.
4- just for the rumors...the bestfriend= yes, we're still just friends-never done anything. but while everyone keeps toying with this idea of an "us" ill say this much. he's my bestfriend. and sure we probably would make a great pair, its just not worth it to risk our friendship because he really truly is my best friend and i need him to play that role no one else can do it like im (no pun/all pun). but for the record, were getting married 4 kids (a reggie III so we can call him Trip! twins and another child) and a dog. ya, we're officially promised lmao! we come up with some funny stories.

so ya vivian is drunk, rather hilarious .:awk-turtle:.
ima go to bed now...

goodnight all
xo out this bit!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

so apparently

both my siblings are hoes! lol
my eldest bro called me awhile back to tell me he thinks he got this chic name Royalty pregnant, definitely going and this fool hit her. ugh...
and then our middle bro called and him and his gf of substantial time semi stable relationship is pretty much 100% prego. and this fool gon say "ya if you trust a pregnancy test" YA DUMBASS. that's my brothers for ya..lol my niggas, my big dumbass niggas...
wait, who's gonna tell daddy!!!
ha!
xo is def not pregnant 'cause xo is def not tappin nnothin lol

na na naa na hey hey hey...

goodbye.

ok so the thing i love about life is that no matter how bad the night was you wake up in the morning, God willing, to a new day. the present, a gift. im blaming my bad mood last night on hormones. sorry, im big enough to apologize for that. 
so....reggie is gone. 6 days 5 nights...(sigh) 

ive decided to take the ticket credit i hav and go to columbus for a weekend during winter break. a whole month, ya thats not gonna work...im already going to memphis that takes care of dori. is frankie even going home for winter break??? tha babyz sick =( we'll take care of her! ill hop in the ride and go see my Le boo whenever i damn well please.

im talkin all this shyt and clearly i need to be working day in and day out of winter break!

im f'in hungry!

 

let me explain

ive almost lost my life and come t close to being fully fucked up to not appreciate every day to the fullest thus i kno all too well how quickly things go from great to devistating. ihav a handful of those i keep extremely close to me and i value them. i hav a problem with saying goodbye as is i kinda need to see your face and your warmth before i let you drive off into the abyss. yes, i am feeling "womanly" and yes im bein very over sensitive but some ppl matter to me and thats something i cant nor want to change. but youre calling me now so i guess we'll make up and call it a night. i love you still, ill forgive you., if you forgive me.

Monday, November 24, 2008

it interests me...

how things can go so well and then all of the sudden go so bad.
how you can build everything up and watch it all fall a part.
today was such a good day! SUCH A GOOD DAY! and now its such a wack nite-SUCH! you made it a great morning and ruined the night.
and ya I'm just being sensitive but I know how quickly life ends and I never leave and not say goodbye.

a good morning

so I set my alarm last night to play this chip the ripper song "put it in yo mouth/ get it girl" if that wnt wake u up laughing idk what will. and then, icing on the cake....BESTFRIEND CALLED "you better call tyrone" I'm thinkin his God forsaken Iphone is calling me but no, no its him! I love the way he calls and even in my sleepy, (slick sexxi) morning voice this nigga still wants ta chat like I'm just wide awake or somethin. but he's calling to tell me how his class is cancelled and walked all the way over there but he does hav an umbrella! yayy for you bestfriend. as I laughed and laughed I realized this kidd is my f'in fav! every day would be a great day if he called me with some foolishness like that.I swetabob I love him. so I get on up and I'm definitely taking my sweet ass time just shootin the muthafuckin breeze and a nigga was STILL ON TIME, slick early. man I'm good. and then, man and then...I got a 100 on this spanish quiz! class was a joke, we watched the videos we made of us singing spanish songs like some kindergarten class. now I'm in black lit with Phil "big head" The Great One Brown, always fun. she dotes (sp?) on me but I really like this class, I wanta do this for a living. after class I need ta do some work but I think ima print my resume and take it to fridays at opry mills kuz a kidd is broke and that's not bueno, no sexxi, not swaggerific! but today, thus far, has been a damn good day. Thank God kuz I was losing my grip. I needed this.
so thank you bestfriend for being my wheaties today, starting my day off right. that's why I love you.
xo out this bit!

a good morning

so I set my alarm last night to play this chip the ripper song "put it in yo mouth/ get it girl" if that wnt wake u up laughing idk what will. and then, icing on the cake....BESTFRIEND CALLED "you better call tyrone" I'm thinkin his God forsaken Iphone is calling me but no, no its him! I love the way he calls and even in my sleepy, (slick sexxi) morning voice this nigga still wants ta chat like I'm just wide awake or somethin. but he's calling to tell me how his class is cancelled and walked all the way over there but he does hav an umbrella! yayy for you bestfriend. as I laughed and laughed I realized this kidd is my f'in fav! every day would be a great day if he called me with some foolishness like that.I swetabob I love him. so I get on up and I'm definitely taking my sweet ass time just shootin the muthafuckin breeze and a nigga was STILL ON TIME, slick early. man I'm good. and then, man and then...I got a 100 on this spanish quiz! class was a joke, we watched the videos we made of us singing spanish songs like some kindergarten class. now I'm in black lit with Phil "big head" The Great One Brown, always fun. she dotes (sp?) on me but I really like this class, I wanta do this for a living. after class I need ta do some work but I think ima print my resume and take it to fridays at opry mills kuz a kidd is broke and that's not bueno, no sexxi, not swaggerific! but today, thus far, has been a damn good day. Thank God kuz I was losing my grip. I needed this.
so thank you bestfriend for being my wheaties today, starting my day off right. that's why I love you.
xo out this bit!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

drowning

i cnt seem to keep my head above water...

its always one thing after another. i knockout one thing and another pops up. i settle one thing and another falls apart. i cnt keep it straight. and this shyt gets old. SO old.

a kidd needs a hug.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

no comment

I'm going to be very careful of what I say here. I will not decide who is wrong. you (1) got mad, you (2) shoulda just stopped. she made a mess she cleaned it up, she threw noodles they weren't destroyed. all of that wasn't even that big. both yall trippin but like I said.....no comment.

when the drinks start flowin man...things get smooth

Thursday, November 20, 2008

i read your blog

and you stole the words right out of my mouth.

ive been feeling so stuck in my current state. ive been doing very well overall but as far as I go im just feeling very stagnant, in a constant funk, and slick over most common day bullshyt.

the thing is:

i cnt stand staying on campus, i feel like i never leave my day behind because i live with this bullshyt on the regular. i gotta get outta this place. i need to lie my head down at night and know that i left the day alone and it didnt follow me to my dorm room. (yes, bestfriend you can hav a drawer lol)

i been fighting these urges, and toying with the ideas of some things that may or may not be a good idea and while i havnt reached any conclusions or made any substantial progress i think ill just let go and let God...

i dnt feel like being bothered. a lot of things and ppl hav become much less of a joy and much more of a chore. i almost hav to force myself to be all chipper some times.

i do such a damn good job of keeping a sound front i almost convince myself that most, if not all the things going on are just ok

i thought he was gonna die and now that he's doing so much better i feel such a weight lifted,im reassured, and im so grateful

i really miss my daddi...

i would rather sit around and play the bass than sit around look at pointless ppl's faces

im doing the best i can, but i cnt lie...some days i just wanta stay under the covers make a little hole so i can breathe and imagine dreams to dream, dream them, wake up, and do it again.

ya, everyday is a gift and i am more than appreciative for every second of every day but this life is a battle and while its full of beauty and love and all that jazz its a struggle and some days i cnt muster the front to face the fuckery.

i just wanta be happy. i wanta be the person i see so vividly in my potential, i want do and be everything i said i would. i wanta smile more and worry less. i wanta hug more and shrug less. i wanta be more and dream less.

the thing is...its all so damn hard. and everybody swears they know but nobody knows and im determined to figure it all out.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

in the basement

so I'm in a practice room in the music building, me and Cuervo are makin babies and I remembered how much fun it is to play again. I stopped playing the clarinet after senior yr and now that I've picked up the bass I feel like a proud mama again, nurturing this tender bundle of noise. and while I'm tickling the strings I have the opportunity to reflect and I thought it fitting to write a blog while I progress...
point.blank.period
slick hungry but this is like musical crack and I'm in the mood to OD...
I feel really bad for Cuervo's recent affliction and even more so I hope mr hutch doesn't hate me for it.
I think I may like him...there I said it. dnt bring it up again you guys
I doubt ill take a nap today
me and Le are gonna make a run to Sam Ash...yayy!!! music stores are soooo much fun
I was reading Frankie's blog today and I'm really happy her and Mr Everybody'sFavorite had a good time
it reminds me that I am alone. =(
I like to be single, the freedom is appealing, but this lifestyle gets lonely I wnt lie...
its cold than a bytch! scratch that its a rather brisk and drab outside


I definitely left this window up while we made that run to Sam Ash. 50-75 to fix Cuervo maybe less 'cause I hav the pieces...we'll see
I'm really diggin this bass vibe
when I say "I miss you" to certain ppl I dnt be bullshyttin' scratch that I miss you and I meant it.
frankie got bit by a dog "just 'cause I got bit by a dog it doesn't mean ill love dogs any less. I just wnt hav BBQ on my hand when I pet animals" good thinking, kiddo.
The Bestfriend is gonna be Martin Luther King Jr in the NAACP 12 days of christmas song
christmas is slick overrated
my bestfriend needs a damn transcript and ima copy and paste that hoe if it kills if! I got yo back boo!
man I just took a 2 hour nap and that junt was fand-damn-tastic!
aight I hav text messages pouring in.
xo checkin out this bit!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

a little bird told me...

I dream of a fairytale like love that only you can give
a fairytale like love that only we can live
i find refuge only in you and you and me
until the seas and the oceans gatehr to drown us in ourselves
until we are taken under and have gone unsunder
so deep in us...
-Frankie

no homo, she had written it out and i really liked it so i posted it. no nasty hoes she didnt write it for me...

i feel so bad...

ok so I hav finally started some thing that I hav always wanted to! I'm learning to play the bass guitar!!! yayy maya!! ya well I jacked it. the ever so kind mr hutch allowed me to borrow his bass which I so loving named Cuervo 'cause he's black and I like cuervo vlack...but yes me and cuervo gingerly stroll in hale and begin building our love. I think I might hav a nac for this. so this is what happened...I'm standing in the mirror to watch my hands (i played the clarinet string instruments...ya...) so I'm practicing, exploring, and learning and SNAP the strap gives and the bass smacks the floor! my face, you shoulda seen my face...my heart dropped and my face broke! CUERVO NO! I scoop him up and see that I chipped his butt. its not bad but gotdammit its not MINE! so now I'm trying to figure out where I can take it and ya...how much that would cost. man...I feel so bad 'cause when I asked to borrow Cuervo mr hutch definitely said "ya, if you dnt break it"
well damn!
he's gonna hate me forever...and I really couldn't be mad if he did. but honestly its not my fault, the strap broke..fuck that, man up, it was in my possession and my protection and its thus my fault...
forgive me

Sunday, November 16, 2008

my new fav song-yayy!

this one definitely has chuck love written all over it. this one's for the lovers, the love lost-ers, and the love hopefuls

John Legend
I love, you love

Hush my baby, Don't you cry. 
I'll dry your eyes. Fulfill your heart's desire. 
Let's go in. Try again. 
Careful this time. Broken promises linger in our mind.

I'll give in completely. Hearts break so easy. 
I know. Believe me. Oh, I've tried. 
But my arms can hold you. My kiss console you. 
I'll come and love you tonight. 

Chorus 
And I... 
I love, I love, I love 
Love hurts sometimes 
But this feels right. 

You... 
You love, you love, you love 
Though you've been burned 
You still return. 

Come and share my house, my home, and all I own. 
I'd love to give to you. 
Aren't you tired of going along this lonely road? 
It takes its toll on you. 

Give me your emotion, your heart's devotion. 
Give anything you like. 
And I'll give understanding. Life's so demanding. 
I'm all you need to get by. 

chorus

Still return 
Still return to love (Oh) 
Keep coming back to love (Ah oh) 

definitely hilarious

so me and Le are having this convo about some twins and this nigga here says, "ya they're both from birmingham"
DUH NIGGA THEY'RE TWINS!!!!!!

I swear I love that hoe.

heavens to betsy

so I'm still on my weekend babysitting duties and every time I'm here I realize just how NOT ready I am for kids! 3 reasons mommyhood is currently not for me
1. I'm not payin nobody to keep them hoochies when I need to get away. I know the shyt babysitters do kuz I'm a damn babysitter! definitely did my laundry over here...
2. the germs! small children breed disgusting germs, ooze all sorts of shyt, and shyt period! ugh! my skin is so dry from washing my hands...no bueno.
3. these hoes woke my ass up at 7, yes seven as in after 6 and before 8, aka the ass crack of the day! talkin bout some I'm up...SO?! go down nigga! I'm hungry...eat! I musta bn a very independent child or something kuz my ma woulda karate chopped my little ass in the throat at 7 am. and now we watchin this same damn spongebob video! patrick is dumb as shyt!!! ima know all these muthafuckin words!
and hell na, dnt expect a "scratch that" I mean all this shyt! from my gotdamn heart! I swetabob.....I'm dawwg ass tired bruh, DAWG ASS TIRED...
fuck! reason number 4. all this gotdamn whining! I thought I whined...fuvk that these hoes damn near sing when they talk! and I swear ima buy them some encyclopedias kuz I cnt answer another dumbass question or ima pop one of these sluts ded in the eye!

UGH! where the hell is ya mammy!?!?!?!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

domestic allergies

man I sweta bob, every time I fold clothes I feel sick! like their too hot and they make me hot and I just feel sick...
apparently I have domestic allergies...some housewife ill be lol F that ima be hot, grillin, hired a maid kinda wife. I'd rather be doin my husband than foldin his socks anyway!
xo checkin out!

domestic allergies

man I sweta bob, every time I fold clothes I feel sick! like their too hot and they make me hot and I just feel sick...
apparently I have domestic allergies...some housewife ill be lol F that ima be hot, grillin, hired a maid kinda wife. I'd rather be doin my husband than foldin his socks anyway!
xo checkin out!

well ill be damned!

I'm on weekend babysitting duty and me being a seasoned babysitting vet tell me how in the hell I just locked us outta the house!!! way ta go maya. I swetagod I need a reality show I'm so damn amusing. somebody would probably say I'm rather irresponsible for being so careless fuhdashit its a little slip at least theyre both fully dressed and in my safe and secure vehicle. dnt judge me and if you do oh f'in well I really find this whole perdicament quite tickling.
xo

he he he (sigh)

Only just a friend the love story begins
Now here's a happy ending to believe in
You're always there for me, now you're with me in dreams
It's got me wondering if you ever dream of me
I don't wanna risk losing everything
But I'll take the chance and tell you what I'm thinking

-chorus- Girl, you've been my best friend
Can we put this to bed then
Tonight's the night to cross the line
Baby won't you be mine
Not just my home girl
Time that I take you home girl
Tonight's the night to cross the line
Let me love you tonight.

I...I...I...

Kiss (kiss) kiss (kiss) kiss me on my lips
We've been dancin round the moment now we're doin it
Then breathe (breathe) breathe (breathe) a sigh of sweet relief
We been holding it so long the wait was killing me
Oh and we oh and we have been waiting for
So baby open your mind while I close the door

Chorus

I...I...I...

Don't let this moment slip away
Cause we'll never know unless we try it someday
If you're ready I'm so ready
Tonight's the night Tonight's the night

Chorus

.....the irony. inlight of recent events and some other blogs (no you idiots not me!) but i found it rather funny that i heard a song like this. so this one is for you...wether you wanta hear it or not.
xo

everybody knows

Everybody Knows
John Legend

It gets harder every day, but I can’t seem to shake the pain
I’m trying to find the words to say, "please stay"
It’s written all over my face, I can’t
Function the same when you’re not here
I’m calling your name and no one’s there
And I hope one day you’ll see nobody has it easy,
I still can’t believe you found somebody new
But I wish you the best...
I guess.

Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows
How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt
We’ve heard it all before, that everybody knows
How to make it right, I wish we gave it one more try
(Try, Try)One more try(Try, Try)One more try
‘Cause everybody knows, but nobody really knows

I don’t care what the people say
They brought it all in anyway
Baby don’t fill up your head with he said, she said
It seems like you just don’t know
The radio’s on, you tuning me out,
I’m trying to speak, you’re turning me down
And I know one day you’ll see nobody has it easy,
I still can’t believe you found somebody new
But I wish you the best...
I guess.

chorus

Oh I wish you’d understand (ouu I wish you’d understand)
Oh, just an ordinary man (Ouu just an ordinary man)
Listen we’d have known (Listen we’d have known)
Everybody knows, (Everybody knows)
But nobody really knows
And I know one day you’ll see, nobody has it easy
I still can’t believe you found somebody new
I wish you the best...
I guess.

chorus

Oohhh Ooohhh Oohhh nobody really knows
Oohhh Ooohhh Oohhh nobody really knows
(fade out)

oh eme gee, this shyt here...like the first time i even heard it i was in love. once agin its all in the simplicity. everybody knows that nobody really knows how to ease the hurt but we gotta make it work...(sigh) this is the infamous chuck love material. the next one might just be chuck love incarnate...
ill be back

xo

smiling

so I went to the movies today and saw Role Model. definitely funny as hell, and then made a walmart run, grabbed some food and......GOT THE NEW JOHN LEGEND! got back to the room to find most of my fav minus the fank fank and The Bestfriend...no bueno, miss that kiddo. but...oh shyt, john legend it is so bumpin. fav song everybody knows and cross the line. ill post lyrics tomorrow. but I just ta run thru and say that I'm smiling...nice job.
xo

Friday, November 14, 2008

PSA


IM F'IN BORED. DEAR FATHER IN HEAVEN HAVE MERCY!


good morning

so I'm gingerly walking to my 10:20 and I see this girl givin this redbull the business! she dawgin this redbull like its a 40. she's guzzle guzzle chug chug and then look at the can like "damn, this shyt here" and repeat. and in my mind I was thinking
rapid intake-check
surpising gaze of deliciousness-check
hearty burp and smile-check
nigga iz it good?!

lmao!
good morning everyone!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

biting my tongue...

I hav been so thoroughly enlightened by this awesome Alpha Phi Alpha seminar! that was so deep, fantastic! shouts out ta the men of A Phi! and then me and the bestfriend had a fantastic talk. so I'm trying to figure why I'm in this funk... I hav a few things to address but I dnt feel like it right now. ill get back...eventually.

bitchass

ay, you piss him off-you've pissed me off.

I'm here if you need me bestfriend.

damn...

i just posted 3 blogs back to back and really bruh, im slick drained like that has been a lot if not all of things running thru my mind lately.
resolution =check
keepin it real=check
got it off my chest=check

iz im straight?! CHEYAH

tell me what went wrong...

when the signals got crossed and we got lost.

i really whole heartedly want you to know, sir, that i am not mad. i am slightly disappointed, i will say that. and ill also say this, if you wanta know if im mad....ask me. i do a damn good job of keeping most things to myself so very few ppl would actually know if i had any type feelings on any situation that i deem to be personal. dig? things happen, ppl drift a part. but please dnt say that i didnt try to fight for you at all. i can only fight for someone who is willing to be won. thus, if im feeling like youre not even trying, why would i fight? it seemed so one sided at times and ive never, i repeat NEVER, been the type to chase after a guy. and if i didnt hit you up i wouldnt have heard from you. if i like you, if i want you, you'd know. you knew. i was willing to help you through whatever issues you had faced with she who shall remain nameless (i see her f'in EVERYWHERE and she looks at me like im f'in crazy) but anywho i really feel like, if i was worth anything to you, you woulda made an effort to make time, to call, to let me know that "ya im busy but i stil want you around". i do believe i hav said before in a post that i will only stick my hand out to help you, break my neck to stand by you once, because if you smack my hand away i will be less than inclined to reach out for you again. i miss you, i will say that. we used to be really cool, and now that we're damn near strangers i hate to feel like ive wasted my time, so have i? did i waste my time? aimless invest my time? well... ive been sitting here looking at the cursor blink trying to figure out what it is im really trying to say for like 4 minutes and i guess im done...and if you werent so hott i would be less inclined to smile when i see you lol. but really, honestly, we're cool. i just wish you woulda came to me before we dwindled back to just you and me, before the signals got crossed and we got lost...

your mind is moving faster than your heart

ive never been a "playa" but i toroughly respect the game. i have always been hopelessly romantic but i understand the risks involved and the gamble some things can be. yu, my sweet love, youre mind is moving faster than your heart. when you break up with some one it is always best to spend some quality time single for a while so you can get yoursekf back together heal and repair. if you break up with someone and then start chatting it up with someone else youve never fully removed yourself from one thing before investing in another.
friendship...aawww friendship...such a blissful relationship until these "lines" get crossed and these "boundaries" get blurred. feelings are 100% involuntary responses to actions/events. things may start as harmless flirting but feelings walk up in that bitch...oh baby...its O.V.
i understand youre scared, apprehensive, and weary but sometimes God will show the grace to send you someone that will help you through these healing processes as a friend and maybe as a love. i completely respect the fact you wanta keep and maintain a working, lasting friendship but some times you have to close your eyes, walk out on faith, and leap and all you ca do is hope, hope and pray, he'll be there to catch you. i believe he'll e there to catch. like a thief in the night he showed up on his white horse banner waving ready to sweep you off youre feet and now youre scared but realize, dear child, realize he's not him and youre not even you back then. some things are worth the risk, youll know when you kiss...

i cnt help you....

if you dnt wanta be helped. i really sincerely hope everything is ok, and i really sincerely hope you kow whatever it is you can come to me with it, but moreso i really sincerely hope that blog isnt about me...
xo

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

giggle giggle

so you know how when you post a comment on a blog you hav to put in that little wavey word/random in so it can post. ya well i was trying to post a comment and the word that i had to was ..............FUCKIN-kidd i was rollin. i thought that was funny he he he.
as brandon lively so eloquently put it "im not in the mood to please anybody" sorry if you dnt get pleased today lol no pun
swaghouse is bout ta blow the fuck up! scratch that-we're in here and we showin yall how its done!
i wanta take commercial music ensemble...what do ya think?
i definitley wore rainboots yesterday when it was supposed to f'in rain and today i wear suede boots it f'in rains! bitchass-scratch that, less than favorable elements.
i am seriously bumpin this "fuckin boyfriend" by the bird and the bee f'in love it!
i think im benching somebody and im not sure why.
ok so lets talk about this...
i think he's a really great guy. very intellegent, handsome, but he's senior and i think im hesistant because he'll be leaving soon, idk but i dnt wanta catch feelings and watch him leave...trippin? i might be.
roadtrio anyone? knoxville....
thaknsgiving! yayy!
aleesa mann my official HOMIE is def coming home soon, so cnt wait.
my ass STILL hurts, thanks bestfriend (no pun)

aight dori is here, gotta go
xo

iz you mad

so there is this website that has all of tsu in an uproar! hello juicycampus.com the newest website to put everybody on public blaze! this is how it works: there are a shyt load of topics:greeks that beat their women, biggest mandingo, whores, easy pussy, best head, etc now should you so realize that you know of someone that fits one of these descriptions you can add a reply and bust somebody fully out. so if you thought you were keeping a low porfile and that nobody knew, girl tell yo closet freak she can come out now, 'cause if you dnt I got a dollar ta say somebody else will! this site is providing a hell of a lot of gossip and sabotage. I think I only find this amusing because I'm not on it but that's because I dnt do anything worth talking about. my reputation is very important to me so I do my best to keep mine to myself. I've only talked ta one person on this campus and he's not even here anymore.
I suggest: you keep your private life private. never kiss and tell. dnt take pictures. be a damn lady! if you did it be real. if you didn't...deny deny deny! lol
most things are probably lies and haters but some of this could possibly be true. I suggest you form your own opinions about ppl because juicycampus is gon jack some ppl up.

xo

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

yes there will be more

i thoroughly suggest the following:
adele-hometown glory, melt my heart to stone, feel my love, and hometown glory.

so ya, i guess im a little love sick. its cold outside and im ever so single! ugh! no bueno... but really i cnt say i just wanta hop on the good foot and settle down. i do enjoy the freedom of my current status but ill be the first to admit, this shyt gets hella lonely. and ya, i hate other couples! they make me gag! like real talk, to see ppl all wrapped up and smiling, all head over heals and shyt, ya nigga IM JEALOUS! i mean ya, im happy but im green too... geez, dnt rub it in. what makes me even more mad, you ask?? oh God, when ppl hav the opportunity to settle down with someone who is great for them, someone on the same page, someone that is CLEALY diggin you, and you'd rather pass that up cause...hell idk, you wanta play the field? youre scared? youre DENSE!? idk but i wanta shake the shyt outta ppl like that. and you sir, are burning my heart to stone. and you, sir, used to say my name like there could be an us. i best tidy up my head, 'cause replaying/imagining the idea of this is probably not best.

you would think i was really dating someone lol

my new fav song

The bird and The Bee- fucking boyfriend

There is something wrong, and there is something right
When you can take me by hands and I will close my eyes.

When you laid down with me, you took the other side.
When you laid down with me, you never slept that night

Are you working up to something? But you give me almost nothing.
Keep me helpless up to something on my knees.

Would you ever be my, would you be my f-cking boyfriend?

Are you an amateur, or is it your unkind?
To torture all the other girls, you keep me by your side.

Are you unsatisfied? You cant make up your mind.
When you can take me by the hands and I will close my eyes.

Are you working up to something? But you give me almost nothing.
Keep me helpless up to something on my knees.

Would you ever be my, would you be my f-cking boyfriend?

I would be so winning, so absolutely winning.
A guarantee in melody, a promise in the sky

you hav to love the pointless cursing. lol.
na but this song is really very straight forward and i am a HUGE fan of simplicity. if you want him, have him. so damn nigga, be my man! idk who the hell im talking to but hey, any takers....lol
xo

Monday, November 10, 2008

the risks

friendship lays the best foundation for a relationship, we all know this. but for the select few of us who really value the friendships we hav this presents a bit of a complication in maintaining a platonic relationship. you say "he's my bestfriend" and he would say the same for you, but is he more?
who's the first person you look for in a crowded room? who's the first person you call ta get somethin crankin on the weekend? who do you run to when everything around you is falling a part? who is the person to catch you before you fall? do you trust him? does his opinion matter? does he matter?
lets be honest we all "date" our bestfriend to an extent. we hav all convinced ourselves that we're just friends but when that line is crossed and feelings get involved you hav to make a decision. I dnt believe in planning too far in advanced, its better to cross most bridges when they come. yall, you and him, aren't us- we've got more history, a better understanding. you and him are a cross roads and there are a lot of risks. you can play it safe stay "friends" and forever wonder what if. you can miss out on something real something worthwhile. or ya, you could lose a friend. and friendships are precious. this is the game we play, the balancing act of our lives. but in the middle of the night with your head in his chest, tell me what you're feeling...do you wanta run the risk.

hello world!

someone somewhere please tell me why everyone and their mama texted ne this morning. if you are so fortunate to hav my contact info then you should know I dnt wake up at no 7 o-damn-clock in the morning! and we havnt been saying good morning what makes you think I want your pointless salutations now?! if there is one thing I hate its to be awaken abruptly for no damn reason! ugh!
I'm better now 'cause guess who I talked to?! yep, you guessed it, DORIAN MUTHAF'IN TOWNSEND! "you're my first human contact" love you too dori!
xo

Sunday, November 9, 2008

you love me...

because i first loved you. and now that youve realized what i should have meant to you a year ago you wanta love me and expect me to truly still love you. if ive ever loved somebody i cnt just let that go ill always have love for you in some way but the idea of loving you is too much of a risk and im sorry but you scare me, youve always scared me. not like intimidation but more so that it was all too strong. and after the bogus shyt you pulled-oh that shyt was green -i cnt just act like thats ok with me. i care for you i do, but distance takes its toll and we're cities a part. and ya, we can call everyday 3 times a dayand textour way through classes but can never touch you when youre sad, we can never hug when we greet, ill never be able to lie my head in your chest at night and wake up in your arms in the morning, and you can never pull me back when i try to walk away. there's a lot of things i wish and i could list them all and get my hopes up and let you say all the right things so subconsciously i think of being yours or i could just let it all go and come to the conclusion that us is not gonna be this fairytale that we've both vividly weaved in our imagination becasue we're too far a part to make anything concrete. so do you still love me?

ooooohhh weeeeeee!

drinking...

makes me wants do some things...

'nough said.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

shyt happens...

wipe and move on.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

i love this song

Lauryn Hill
Tell Him

Let me be patient let me be kind
Make me unselfish without being blind
Though I may suffer I'll envy it not
And endure what comes
Cause he's all that I got and
tell him...

Tell him I need him [yeah]
Tell him I love him [tell him]
And it'll be alright
*Background singing* Telll himmm be alright be alright
Tell him tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Now I may have faith to make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I am nothin' at all
I can give away everything I possess
But left without love then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect [I know I'm imperfect]
& not without sin [& not without sin]
But now that I'm older all childish things end
and tell him...

Tell him I need him [yeah]
Tell him I love him [tell him]
And it'll be alright
*Background singing* Telll himmm be alright be alright
Tell him tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Bridge
I'll never be jealous
And I won't be too proud
Cause love is not boastful
Oooh and love is not loud
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
Everything's gonna be alright [w/ adlibs]
ieee iee ieee iee iee iee iee iee

Now I may have wisdom and knowledge on Earth
But if I speak wrong then what is it worth?
See what we now know is nothing compared
to the love that was shown when our lives were spared
and tell him...

Tell him I need him [yeah]
Tell him I love him [tell him]
And it'll be alright
*Background singing* Telll himmm be allright be alright
Tell him tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

-for you...
xo

yayy!

so i hadnt to someone all day and its been breaking my heart! he told he'd find me today and ive been out and about all morning and afternoon. i just ot back to my room after getting my fat kidd and i hear a familiar song......its SWAG SURFIN'-that means its..................................

BESTMUTHAF'INFRIEND! yayy!!! welcome back to my life!

its thursday baby...

and youu know what that means...THURSDAY MORNING RAMBLING

point.blank.period



i hav a rude ass swag, id like to apologize publicly to all those who have been swag smacked (aka swacked) by my bold swag :-) thatsounds so cocky im jp

ive been saying and ill say it now, slightly different-job is what i need,a source of income is more than a necessity now.

winter boo'ing is...off to a start, we'll leave that at that. im not a coach so im not gon bench a squad and scout again lmao

i kinda like the individuals i have, no, there arent many. and if anyof should so read this....its on you to keep me to yourself. lol

im feelin kiinda bold to day i might say some things...

guess where i am?! muthaf'inwold history and guess what we're talking about?! CORN!

shoot me now (again)

Bestfriend's phone committed suicide. say a prayer, he's really going thru. and when i read his blog it really breaks my heart to see him so upset and know i cnt fix it. but i feel like there's moreoing on than he's saying and of course he'd rather fight a war on his own than coming to me-ima shake the (word) outta him!

me and reggie went to a set in bellevue and tha guy who threw it, he's in my class-small world.and yes,he was definitely late as HELL

i still wanta stop cursing, gotta maintain my every popular scratch that's

Bestfriend made me a CD-cheyah, shyt's bumpin'

-scratch that, the compilation is very diverse and enjoyable.

i need to do to financial aid and change my major and get a JOB

i wanta move off campus, so i can go home at night and feel like ive actually left the day alone. kuz this summer, living alone was gorgeous! i came and went as i damn well please-scratch that-i did as my heart desired functioning on a whim.

i want a dog-i want MY dog back.

treo is certified suicidal. he's been jumpin off the bed, out the car, off the desk, outta my lap. sit yo ass still Treo! im not scratchin that, i meant it.

after this class im oing back to the room to change,im just not feeling it today.

UPDATE from world history-now we're talking about.....marshes! fun!

i want to:

completely redo my wardobe.

move.

get a new phone.

redo my twists.

get 2 new tattoos.

find a boo-scratch that-let a boo find me.

-WAIT UPDATE-he just said Maya as in the indigenous tribe and i looked up so confused lmao-

and we're back...

a new car

new glasses/fix my current pair.

be rich!

unplug these headhones and let my whole class bump to pussy monster-lil wayne 'cause i dnt think anyone but the man with the ponytail is listening to him.

;question; why did bestfriend put this on my cd. he so nasty! lol

bruh! im hungry as hell!!

"im an ethiopian" frankie s.



this might be one of my more random rambles.

so there ya go...HAPPY THURSDAY!

(ill probabl be back 'cause its only 10:30 adnd i definitley have another 4 min of class so ima go read some blogs)

-xo- checkin out!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

never in my life

so i guess im finally ready to address the most current of events...


OBAMA FOR MANKIND

my grandfather told me a change was gonna come and now that it has im so sad he's not here.
my grandmother was in tears "never in my life, maya!"
im so happy that all of those who struggled for our freedom, our rights, and our future have not toilded in vain.
yes we can...and we did.
God bless America. God bless the Obama family.
thank the Lord... its been a long time coming.

forever?! ...let me not tell on myself

so im sitting talking to the lovely Le about you guessed it...BOIZ! a girls fav past times! lol
so this is what was covered...
i slick forgot...
ok, wait for me.....
ok here we go!
dating at this age is definitely when ppl meet "that" person...like wtf?!
and ya im hopelessly romantic but that most def ruins my hope of the hotty in the grocery store...damn!
i like boiz that are slick outta my "league" (i really dnt limit myself like that but we all hav leagues just be real) so a man that is on his shyt, is very attractive. if youre swag is thru the roof it just makes me wanta step my game up. i like a challenge.
marriage-bump bump buuuuuummmppp!!! the "M" word lmaoso i would like to get married play house all that but i really cnt see when ima hav time for that.
kids i want some but i really dnt know when ima hav time for that.
and of course we talked about sex...oh yes, sex lmao.
niggas in suits will get the business. there's nothing more sensual thing than slipping off ties and undoing all the buttons of a dress shirt. ya, i said it.
late nights, if im sleepy, i get touchy feely-dnt try me, ill try you back.
im hella tricklish, and very sensitive to touch.
let me stop...
we clearly discussed a hell of a lot more than this but im not about to tell on myself
xo

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

terribly disappointed

i defintely-damn sho definitely wanted to be a part of history but because of my father and his bitch has insurance wanting voter registration changed and the wack ass voter commision of God forsaken Union city in the ass crackl of the back wood of tennessee i never received my damn absentee ballot and now my vote doesnt count!
like wtf! im really pissed
and bestfriend clearly just stunted me all the way out and had 2 of my friends cause a big ass scene about it. no im not mad im just really sad 'cause every vote counts and im so OBAMA!

Monday, November 3, 2008

today...

was slick a cool lil day.
had a productive morning. spanish on debit (some walt p vocab for ya) hola! went on to knock out some black lit (im is a negro) and then I kicked like soccer for a good min. did some muzik building rounds, saw "him" what a sweet heart. oh wait! I had a slick headache all damn day and it was hotta than a slave ship in hale hall-that's def a hale naw!!! anywho so I stopped my the official swag house, spence-n-lloyd's and was thoroughly entertained by llody! I love the male mind! grabbed some lunch with the bestfriend and our partners in crime + the lovely frankie babes. yum! checkers! aka rally's in STL! then...sorry brain fart....came back chilled. went ta get my car and then...yes then I took a fantastic nap that fully rid me of all former ailments. facedowner. hopped up did some Swaghouse bizznass with the boiz, love 'em all. and topped off the night with some Corona. feeling good. back in the room freshly showered and kickin it with of course The Bestfriend and duh, our partners on crime.
xo, out this bit!

im afraid...but i hope...



im afraid...
that you dnt see how lovely you are.
or how much you mean to me.
that no one like you will ever exist.
that our own selfish reasons for you being here wnt be enough.
that he's not what you need, but youre too scared to see.
that our love wnt heal these wounds.
that there arent enough late night talks and tears to resolve these issues.
that the demons are too strong.
that youre not praying.
that youll give in and give up...


but i hope....
that you find a mirror to reveal your worth to yourself
that you remember that every day is a struggle.
that we can sustain you in these your times of need.
that you trust yourself and your judgement
that its these days that make the good sooo good.
that im always right here.
that you remember this battle is not yours...
im afraid i cnt, we cnt, convince you that this life is full of beauty, of real love, of worth because youre too afraid to face another day. so i hope you read this in the darkest of hours and remember that anything worth having is worth fighting for. fight, baby. and when you cnt, when everything seems to hav taken a final toll dnt tap out, just stand. and ill fight, on your behalf ill intercede and ask for the strength all the strength you could never need. giving up wont make it better. put the bottle down, put the cap back on and fall into us. these are the times when there are only one set of foot prints in the sand...

2 things, maybe 3

1. be carefule who you text. I frequently hold several text convo's at once but should I so be having a rather serious convo I put the others on hold because there is nothing worse than sending the wrong text, full of anger/resentment/heart break etc, to the wrong guy/girl
I've done it and I've had to explain hut I havnt received one until...I did. lol. but really its slick like a blow to the tummy. like damn...
but please dnt lie about it. I honestly dnt wanta know what its about but if ask if you're ok, dnt say "its something that I'm not worry about" obviously its wearing you...you wasted the energy to reply. I do my best to be there for ppl in times of need but if I reach out my hand and you smack it...I wnt be so eager to reach again...
2. late nights, I lack self control mostly because I dnt want to be the responsible individual am I thru the day but keep testing my will and there will be issues! trouble, trouble. trust-once you get with this, you'll never want that.
(ya, I'm going for 3. I wasn't gonna address this but its slick messed up)
3. if you should so come into a city where a sugnificant other resides, regardless if you came for other motives and I should so be the icing on the cake of this road trip, if you are in this city and upon your departure you BETTER ya, you DAMN SHO BETTER call before you leave! that's why I wnt commit to you now, because you've consistently take me for granted.
I'm up in black lit and that just needed to be said.
-xo-

Sunday, November 2, 2008

keeping it to myself

so i hav some things i would like to say but considering that several ppl knowingly follow my blog ima keep this to myself . i need to make some choices, step my game up, cut some things loose, and hold on to others. but until then ima be keeping some secrets, sorry.
its nothin major just got some shyt to handle.
-xo-

oh...the muthaf'in irony- oh.eme.gee.

thats how the cookie crumbles

some things are better left as nothing.
some things are better played out in your mind, where everything goes the right way.
some things are just fun things.
some things aren't worth bad things.
some things are just seasonal: summer flings, fall infatuations, winter snuggles, or spring romances. yr 'rond aint for everybody.
some things like this thing is just over, run its course, and through. and it was fun. but some things don't mean anything.
-out.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

wtf

frankie just deep throated this ice cream cone! and I feel slightly homo for watching.
I found pics in a certain someone's camera of a certain someone's body parts...ya...
frankie AND josg fell all on the floor in mcdonald's
AND dori knocked over frankie's cup. and the hispanic gentleman who cleaned up our mess was hightly amusing.
man what is we doin tonight?! somethin gotta crank!!
this macdonalds being playin some damn good jams!
le booboo has the bubble guts we gotta take the kiddo home.
checkin out!

fight the good fight

if you love something, someone, you fight for it. no matter the issue, you solve it. no matter the drama, you squash it. if it matters to you, like you all matter to me, you stand by it. ill fight for you, ill squash this, because i love you, i need you. because im sorry.
♥ ♥ ♥
hears to the crayons
-'gent

this tom foolery

ok so its homecoming and every year they turnn jefferson into some bizarre of black ppl and vendors. and every year these jackassz come out in some full out ridiculousness! like really when you left your residence did you really think to yourself damn i look good NO! you bet not have because clearly you look like who shot john and drug his dead body across yo mammy's lawn! leather tights?! oh my word! what has the world come to?? please vote for a change! so me and dori are riding back to ford a usual 5 min drive takes us 45 f'in min to get from hale parking lot to ford apts! what the hell?! thats because shanquita and dainisha wanta pull out fresh orange weave and one piece jumps suits and snow boats with the big fuzzy tassles when CLEARLY there is no snow and walk all up and down jefferson buying cuggi, dendi, qada, and VL handgags GET THAT BULLSHYT OUTTA HEAR!
im sorry, no really i am, because i never wanta stereotype and cluster my ppl, black ppl, like that but this really upsets me to see ppl content with this materialistic lifestyle walking up and down the street parading for other ppl to see. honestly, and i said this to dori, it wankes me wanta write a paper, read 2 books, and go to church! we as a people to come up, we're better than that, smarter that, stronger that. i just want us to do better.
-maya.