Tuesday, March 31, 2009

im sorry but yes, im back

clearly i hav espanol homework but oh well

ryan leslie gibberish!
ryan leslie how it was supposed to be!
man the whole damn cd is raw!

ima need to make a damn mixtape {{DJ XO}} echo xoxoxoxoxo


let me explain

ok so im fine, first and fore most. im cool! lol but every now and then i just get in that mood and im like man that song is hott oh and that somng too oohh! and last week i heard this junt! so ya i get tad excited and i jst wanta share. we all know i prefer to post lyrics as opposed to the song so you can read the lyorcs and really vibe. sometimes we miss stuff when we're too busy bobbuin our heads and shyt. really it started with the new Chrisette Michele Epiphany. now that junt goes oh so hard. like wow, i swear i love here ALL HOMO! lol
i hope yall enjoyed 'em but if not put a dick in ya ear and fuck what ya heard! ha!

man thus dude here...

When did you get like this
Least you could have done was go and give me a warning
I don't regret like this
So I'll be right there when you wake up in the morining saying
"This just ain't my style you can't say your happy either you don't even smile... For me"
Did you agree
We should let it be
And did you agree
It's a must
Lets call the whole thing off
We just have had enough of us
Lets call the whole thing off
We just have had enough of us
When you decided to knock on my door
Did you remember what happened before
The look on your face said you were expecting more
But some things look better inside of the store
chorus "did you agree..."
Look leave me, leave me
I can't fucking stand you
Wish I had the courage to say everything I planned to
My girlfriend, my girlfriend call herself my girlfriend
Tell me that we 'pose to be together till' the world end
But I don't really feel that
I just really want to turn the wheels back
Give you all your sweaters and your heels back
Convince you that time alone will heal that
You look for reasons for us to argue
I swear everytime I call you
You just tell me how I don't call you
Why you do that
Do that,
Do that
chours out
so i went a little harder with the Drake- Call It Off. my fav part is the 3rd verse "i cnt fuckin stand you" that is liek the perfect phrase for any argument lol. and then there's the deepest line ever! "some things lookl better inside the store" man whaaattt?! thats so true! his whole mixtape is sick but my other fav is Sooner or Later. put in your imeem and bump it! lol

number 2

This is dedicated to
This, This, This is dedicated to
Mmm, well if your feeling like I’m feeling, then this is dedicated to you

Well, Ive been the super girlfriend
Let you think that nothing bother me
Like when you go out with your friends
And people bring me back the stories
The stories bout them other girls
Bout this one, and that one, and those three
So when I ask a simple question (Where were you last night?)
You wanna yell and scream and try to flip it on me

No, No, No (No, No)
Is anybody else just fed up?
If you heard it all before, foe, foe (foe, foe)
Then right where you are just get up

Somebody say, I don’t want it anymore
I don’t want it anymore
Somebody say, I don’t want it anymore
I don’t want it anymore
Cause Ive dried my eyes and I realized
I deserve somebody that’ll treat me right
Somebody say, I don’t want it anymore
I don’t want it anymore
Somebody say, I don’t want it anymore
I don’t want it anymore
Because I know my word so you can keep
That drama, I dont want it anymore
Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Mmm, no more settling for less
I’m looking for that kind of man
That’s gonna give his best, cause I’m giving my best
A man that wants to cherish this
And knows exactly how to woo me
Not some silly little boy
Who wants my goodies cause he took me to the movies

bridge and chorus combo over and overwith some vocalizing and such

-letoya luckett- not anymore

now this one is more liberating and upbeat but its just so real. "not anymore" like it was kool at one pt but ya...not anymore playa. lol this is dedicated to you. that shyt goes hard.

this got me started

So little to say
But so much time
Despite my empty mouth
The words are in my mind
Please wear the face
The one where you smile
Because you
Lighten up my heart
When I start to cry

Forgive me, first love,
But I'm tired
I need to get away
To feel again
Try to understand why
Don't get so close
To change my mind
Please wipe that look
Out of your eyes
It's bribing me
To doubt myself
Simply, it's tiring

This love has dried up
And stayed behind
And if I stay
I'll be alive
Then choke on words
I'd always hide
Excuse me, first love,
But we're through
I need to taste the kiss
From someone new

Forgive me, first love,
But I'm too tired
I'm bored to say the least
And I lack desire
Forgive me, first love, (4x)
Forgive me
Forgive me, first love. (2x)
-adele "first love"

Ok, so....i love this song. there's nothing like break up music i swear! regardless of your situation you can find something to relate to. i love the way she calls him "first love" like its his name.


Sunday, March 29, 2009

drawing conclusions

I've made up my mind. No more thinking it over. I'm pretty sure I've always known, pretty sure I wasn't thinking about it as much as I was trying to change my own mind and convince myself of something that wasn't it. So what's up? I'm up. My baby sister called me all torn up and asked me "how do you fall out of love?" "Stand up" its always easier said than done but its just that simple. As much as it hurts you hav to stand up and keep going. Shyt happens, wipe and move on. Its been real but you've made up your mind and I've always known what it was. I gotta stand up again.I was talkin my roomie eric kelly and he's always got the simplest and pure insight. Been there done that, that's more than enough said.thanks hotty.
Today is gonna be a good day. I'm claiming it. This whole week, I am determined to hav a great week. Ima go ape shyt! Its alpha week 2K9 its so COLD out here!! Lol
XO is remembering how to love myself because He loves me inspite of.

Friday, March 27, 2009

i mean so damn, whats up?!

I think I've been real understanding and chill about things but I'm just like what's up?! Like what's really good?! I hate games like no, really I despise bullshyt. And in light of recent enlightment I'm like "whoa now" I hope you didn't think it was like that over here.

PS I love my family but dear Father they work my muthafucking nerves!!! Ugh

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

a funk

Today was planned to be a good day. NOT. Idk what's up but I'm one hell of a funk! Every little thing is just pissin me off so I kno when I get like this I keep to myself but that leaves me at the mercy of my ever pensive mind.
Levis day was a bust! We didn't get to hang out.
I really hate girls that take good guys for granted.
When did everything change. It seems like at times that these semesters are lifetimes. Nothing from last semester is the same and over it, oh well. Somethings I miss other things were for the best.
I love my boiz! E.Kelly, Walt-Peezo, and the infamous Bestfriend.
I'm a little too nice at time but I dnt wanta just fully overwhelm yall with the rudeness.
Since I started this blog the day has semi improved nothing astronomical but her progress is progress.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

2 days and counting

im really wondering how long this thought processn will last

Sunday, March 22, 2009

so whats up

So definitely hav bn looking forward to sunday for one reason (Jesus of course) but I was expecting a certain arrival. I never wanta feel like things are gonna fall thru but getting your hopes up just leads to a worse let down. And now I'm in church clearly upset and I swear its taking everything in me not to cry. And I hate that feeling, that holding back emotions feeling, that quiet anger sitting inside of you. Dnt ask me how I am, I'm liable to lose my composure. This is so much bullshyt and I'm really trying to be understanding but this damn hard. Its damn near taking everything in me not to get up, walk out, and cry in my car. I dnt get it and I cnt seem to figure out where to even start!

Friday, March 20, 2009

the sad truth

So my friend vivian aka vivo popped up at my door and she immediately falls to pieces. She just found out that a dear friend was found dead. He was 20 yrs old.
You all know how terrified I am death but its not the dying that scares me, its the when, the how, and the then... I know we're all going to die but I just hope that somewhere there's someone who busts in a room and falls to the floor, holding their chest because I'm gone.
So Father, be with the families, with the heavy hearts and show them some mercy in this their time of loss and bereavement.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

because it matters

Life lesson number 597643157 keep it btwn me and you. Outside opions and thoughts hav no place in something that was meant for 2 ppl. You cnt listen to everybody b/c consciously or subconsciously you're taking some of it to heart. Trust yourself and your judgement.

I'm sorry.

Like lesson 597984618 put yourself in their shoes. Something you may think is harmless could be hurting or upsetting someone else. Be open enough to see if from his point of view so that the necessary adjustments can be made.

I'm sorry.


Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Is not gonna be a very good day. Off to a bad start with the ensemble-back up went to bed on a bad note. That's just some bullshyt, there's no other way to say that. But I'm realizing that I guess I knew this all along or at least I should hav. Its not good to be taken by surprise. Needless to say, I'm shocked. I changed my facebook status to my blog title "it could all be so simple, but you'd rather make it hard" I got some really hilarious comments shouts out ta Philly Phil and Big Zo for a great morning laugh. But one comment came up and it really hit the spot. "Falling's not falling if you dnt cry when you hit the ground." No point in crying. Shake it off.I had to pull my little ohio homie back before she popped off on one her little junts. Niggare like buses there's a new one every 20 min. Do you, niggas will always be in and out. They'll never get it, they'll always make it hard,yes, at our expense.



Ya I'm drunk and what?! But I stopped by because I said somethin tonight and it clearly fell on deaf ear, not receive, nor reciprocated. Slick...I'm really hurt. Slick...I'm like what the fuck?! And yes, slick...I give up.
Tossed 'em back for Angie V's bday. 151...is not what's up. African rum...is not what's up. But this smooth ass buzz is on point.
shouts out to the roomie for a real ass convo. Shouts out to the bestfriend, always holdin it down. Oh and to drunk checkin "what's up world mane!?"
Ha ha xo
I'm bout to down this water and hit these sheets
Fuck the dumb shyt, keep yo bullshyt, I'm out!

Sunday, March 15, 2009


ok so i dnt think ive had ppl to my home lately but we've remodeled and its slick fresh but i came in the other day and there was this random ass plaid chair in my dining room and i definitely ran into it like excuse me?! so i call jackie and im like there's a rather pompously rude piece of furniture in the dining room, care to explain and she's like how's it look? and im like nigga its plaid! so she comes home and she's like i kinda like it. and im lookin at her like where the hell in this house do you think you bout ta put this grandaddy plaid ass frat house chair?! she's like well we have to re do your room. and im like uh...not PLAID! besides all my bedroom stuff is coming with me to my apartment. she makes her scrunched up little face and im like what i DNT need is lack of support and pessimistic expression. (whining)why do you wanta leave me? because you look like that. (the infamous jackie voice)"ugh maya! youre so mean" i reply, no whining. i gots ta go ma, youre no good for my image. and neither is that chair.

now that i hav huey, ill be posting videos and such. this oculd get exciting!


man this break was short as shyt! im slick upset its over this fast, but i need to get back, get focused, and give myself something ther to think about that those will currently be unnamed for their bullshyt.


a good morning and a goodnight text gets you mad points over here pal


ok so today i awoke to a lovely rainy day, i actually like rainy days, but i had a bussin' ass headache. i really think im done drinking. bud ice 40oz, vodka shots, captain morgan shots, mixed drinks....ya.....i may hav the live of a god but it can only filter so much. today was ok tho, got my fat kidd on with some white castles for my afternoon breakfast, went to the bank, laid around the house, wtched john and kate plus 8 (they slick make me wanta have a big family...naaa) later on made some spaghetti. today had some low points to tho, i originally had planned to stop by and GO OFF but ya...you know me, gimme a nap and im over it. im not sure tho that my "oh well" attitutde is going to be to my advantage of "some one" continues to take myh love for granted. i know what they were trying to do but what they fail to realize is that for you i would do that, interrupt that, handle that. and maybe they THOUGHT it was in the best interest...no! you thoroughly pissed me off, hurt my feelings, and made me play a sad song. shouts out ta reesey pooh for pulling me back. idk, ima just play this one by ear because im sick of worrying and feeling lioke im the only one who cares.
lighter not! i would like you to all meet Huey!treo finally kicked the can. i went to sprint and put my rainboot down! yes, the pik pair because theyre fierce and they scream "i mean business while fashionably weathering the storm!" i said "no more treo!" and they said "how bout a blackberry?" i said "curve?" they said "red or black?" "black duh!-and throw in that pink silicone case!" "its double pack, youll get the black one as well." "i like the way you do business."

Saturday, March 14, 2009

its too easy

I hav a few things on my mind that I ve been thinking about addressing and now that I'm here I'm just like...fuck it, dnt care to dwell on it, whine about. I just dnt feel like wasting my energy on the same shyt. I will say this tho: for someone who gets real upset about his friends being in constant contact with me, someone damn shol -yes I said shol- aint taking the steps to keep me to themself. I dnt want every second of every day, definitely hav a life, but I wanta know that at some pt I'm a thought and i'm woth a damn text, hell they're fuckin unlimited!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


I went to knox on the spur of the moment for mr ALL AMERICAN and this might hav bn the sweetest we've bn a long time. there were several moments but these were my favorites.
rock band. 'nough said that was just adorable.
(background: we went to the movies-side not, go see watchmen! hott shyt!- ok so time: 1 am place: in the theater mood: we're being really sweet, very cute issue: I receive a text from...his friend. -dramatic musik and gasp- the guy is a friend of mine too but he is all bent outta shape, not at me, at his friend. this isn't the first time a friend has pushed up. we clear it up) ok the moment, leaving the movies walking to car. his arm is around my shoulder, mine is up his back. mr aa is not one for pda, but after this little tiff about his homeboi this is slick big for him. I caught our shadows as we walk, our loving silhouettes. stride for stride, some times he makes me smile, just some times ;-). and then there was this whole morning, such a dammit.
so I guess I stopped by to giggle and cover smile. (do it and you'll get it.)

Thursday, March 5, 2009


so today had some bomb ass parrallels.
life lesson 37564978 you're never too old to...LIVE.
I went to see my ma today and she damn neared cried when she realized ill be 20 in june. "time flies...I really miss my baby."
later I went to the park with mica aka regina and rj aka ruhjuh. as the sun slid to the other side of the world I took the best breath, let my head fall back, as I smiled. I had to laugh at what my life is becoming, at how fast I've grown and how much I've changed. and I really wish my bestfriend had bn there, he needs to live more.
every day gets a little harder, a little longer but for the last 2 hours I was reminded of the reason I love to live-laughter.
never take for granted the simplest of pleasures. you know the best sound I've ever heard...children laughing. its pure bliss, they're just happy. they dnt worry about the bills to pay, the papers to write, the laundry to do; they live in the moment, ignorant to the cares of the world. they hav no idea what waits in the yrs to come. if for no other reason but that I wish I was a kid again. well for 2 hours today I was.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

good ol' fashion hell no's

uggs and mini skirts....HELL NO
leg warmers and open toe shoes.....HELL NO
turtel neck sweaters and sandals.....HELL NO

i LOVE the time btwn winter and spring when ppl dnt kno what the hell is weather and fashion appropriate.

-insert laughter here-