trust

so i crossed the river again.
i think if i close my eyes and spin around with my finger out and stop suddenly maybe chance or probability would mae a better decision than i can on my own judgement.
im fickle, im indecisive. i know this and i apologize for my characteristcs causing an imbalance in other's lives.
while i know all too well i struggle with making clear cut choices i dnt liek assistance, i withdraw. i trust myself but i just have to give myself a little time.
i told myself that the LastTime was the last time. and it would be a long time before i ever got back in that deep with someone. and now im looking at 2 things with so much to offer, everything ive been looking for and surprisingly im leaning to the one thats not textbook, cookie cutter safe. but when i think about it when have I ever really been he slightest bit, predictable and safe.
im pleasure seeker by nature, if it feels good im for it. (no pun) things liek impulsive shopping, casual dates, im a for the moment person.
to thine own self be true. easier than said.
"its not you, its me" well really that means its you but im too nice to say "you suck, we're thru" but neither of you just suck (no pun) so i dnt have any fault to cut you off for.
i think ima just have my cake and eat it too. (all pun)
sharing is caring, right? hell ya.