laying bricks

so ive recently become a fan of dori t's blog. if you decide to become a follower youll quickly notice a recurring theme/obsession with an individual and she goes on and on and on about him and its so damn cute. and i kinda guess that if you read my blog, you'd see that i kinda go on and on about a certain "him" too. but im pulling back. i have the utmost respect for everything he does; he's so focused and driven, and i understand that he is outlandishly busy which is why i dnt nag or whine like some girls would. im more of a "Go Baby" kinda girl, always supportive, there when you need a push, all that jazz. but every now and then you gotta do whats best for you. im fallin back. ive never been one to pursue a dude anyway but im slick feeling like im givin more and thats all bad. so in my best interest im gonna pull out some. "never put all your eggs in one basket" my daddii told me that. i told him "im not a farmer daddii" i see now what he meant tho. im not spreading out my eggs or anything but ima hold onto a few for a late night snack, ya dig? i dnt play games thats why i stopped hooping. and ima keep it 100 (kuz i like hard liquor) he got to me, before i could brace myself and prep my game, he got to me. and i dnt like to feel like im slippin and catchin lil feelings. not when ive convinced myself to never do "this" again. whatever, ima back peddling now. laying new bricks for a secondary wall.

ok honestly, it really hurts my feelings (ugh i sound like such a sissy) but i rarely get sick, and when i do, like have all week, it really ya, hurts my feelings that everyone else is so eager to play doctor (no pun) and buy juice and nyquil but he hasnt. no call. no check-up. and being the rather sensitive woman i am i take it like oh well youre sick get over it call me when youre better. uhm...ouch! over reacting i know but im a girl and i have thin skin sometimes. but everyone has checked in. old flings, lil crushes, even serious relationships have offered any and all remedies. and ive honestly declined them all. the one offer ive been waiting for has yet to be proposed. early birds catch the worm and im feeling like that burnt worm on the sidewalk the ants are having their way with...all bad,

thats neither here nor there kuz i am not reaching out. i figure if he has time or im running across his mind, he'd reach for me. best friend said that being too available just leaves you vulnerable to be hurt. maybe best friend is right. he usually is. so im listening to good advice and hoping he'll prove me wrong. 'til then im watching disney movies and taking nyquil, ill get better but will he call?