epiphany

music is the only thing that can enter us without permission, consume us against our will, and provoke the thoughts we have struggled to suppress. she was listening to india arie's i am ready for love. and you were the only person that came to her mind because you love music and art, respect the spirit world, but you wnt listen to your heart. do you care? i know you do. i know you do because of your feeble attempt to "do whats best" well i think we need to talk and address this fuckery. stop lying to yourself and admit that you feel what she feels because she's feeling it enough for both of you...and she'll do what best for you.

ok as for you (someone else, yall gotta stay with me here) you really have no idea what you want and thats ok...life's a bitch if it was easy it'd a slut...get it? but really trust yourself. i know youre comfortable with someone because yall have been there before but yall have also been low before and sad before and bad before. i see how happy he makes you but ive seen him crush you too. you wear you heart on your mismatched sleeves, vulnerable but honest. he (a different he) sees your flaws and your insecurities and he knows that you still have his sweater and that there's no place else he'd have it be. get it?

and i even get it now...he's (yes, yet another he)he's not fuckin up. im just kinda hoping he will so my logical-self can tell my hopeful-self "i told ya so. theyre all the same..." because we all know my ridiculous obsession with romance and love whamp whamp but no one is The Notebook, Brown Sugar, or Love Jones. i think that boiz are blind and girls are 20/20 neither one is really better. boiz will over look any and everything and never know they missed it-fail. but we see it all, even the stuff that isnt there, we add more to things and blow the smallest of shyt outta proportion. there's gotta be a soft spot somewhere in the middle, right? there is. stop nit picking, let go, get over it. he probably didnt even know he messed up anyway. and guys pay attention, take a good look at what's in your face and appreciate the gifts you have.

girls like us, the girls mentioned in this post, we're good girls. the kind of girls you'll regret losing. boiz, boiz like the ones mentioned in this post are stupid, hard headed, and stubborn, but theyre awesome and definitely worth the time. start the clock...