what happened here

I feel like I'm losing someone very dear to me. being replaced maybe even forgotten. and this isn't me being spoiled or a brat or wanting all of the attention back on me. but I honestly feel like I'm drifting in the shadows of the meaningless things of life. and I'm sitting here trying to figure out what happened? what happened to us? what happened to you?! what is it that makes ppl forget about all the clearly more important things when something seemingly euphoric shows up. things that used to be so crucial are just trivial to you now. the ones that hav been here from jump, stood by you, stood up for you, how did I become a passing glance? and as I slumped onto the foot of my bed and I felt that knot in my throat and the blur take over my eyes and this isn't the first time you've made me cry in my hands to catch the sounds, this isn't the first time you've made me feel like I was the last thing you thought about. and even when mr AA called I couldn't even clear my voice to talk, I couldn't bring myself to confide in one of the closest people to me. and I hate to keeep secrets or hide stuff inside.
because of the way you've been acting, the way you've made me feel I'm letting tears roll off my tiny nose as i type a fucking blog and reach out to the endless world of strangers before I could come to anyone close to me.
because of you

xo my ass! I really hate to cry.