Monday, January 26, 2009

let this be known

life is black and white. there is no gray area, gray areas only represent confusion. i have no room for any more confusion. with that said let me say this. if you wanta mess with/ sleep with/ talk and associate with other ppl, you wnt be associating with me. we all know very well that im very selfish but i just cnt share, not you-ill be damned. i dnt ride shared dick. sorry, thats as blunt as i can be. i respect your wishes but clarify, is it you and me or us and other ppl? thats called gray area. and let this be known, i dnt need a title, i dnt wanta be mrs anything, im in no rush for all that pressure, labels, and bullshyt. also, im not her, youre not him, we are not them. lets just leave all of that where it is-far far away from us. back to the gray, i cnt do the confusion. if you wanta do all this, that, and them just say that. you got yours, i know you do, and as much as it makes me sick i know its true, i know theyre there.... and i dnt wanta whine but this matters to me. everybody wants somebody around to just shoot the muthafuckin breeze. missing gets old, and talking only satisfies so much. ugh... i dnt drive across this state for the damn scenery. and really i dnt do that for anyone, like just honestly, count the miles, cross the rivers, i do that for you. would you do that for me? i've tried, and i cnt help it but i find myself questioning things and i wanta trust you, you say i can, i think i can so tell me better yet show me that youre trustworthy. the miles serve a purpose, distance forces us to believe the words but distance shelters the secrets. maybe i'd feel better if it all wasnt so gray. maybe i need to stop drinking and thinking lol or maybe i need you to just be real and tell me where i stand, what i mean, and that this-whatever we're calling it-that it matters. i benched the squad, dnt make an ass of me for wanting to believe you. some ppl say its not good pimping, benching the team, but i dnt wanta play the games. i hung up my nikes long ago so tell me whats the deal...?

xo, i hope.

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