you-gee-H

"expectations"
so...i hav relinquished all of my expectations for ppl. reasoning? if you hav no expectations thus you will never be disappointed when they are not met. if you have no expectations you will never feel the adverse of not being pleased by others actions. dig?
ppl will fail, men and women alike, they will fail in some way and youll be the one holding the bomb when the time winds down. ...-boom-... i wnt blow up over other ppl's actions or lack there of...
speaking from my own pont of view and personality. im dependable. if i say ill do it, i will. if i say ill be there, count me present. i break my back to keep my word. i was told that youre reputation is important but your word, your word is a direct representation of you. ppl count on me and i like that. now, consequently if i didnt keep my word and half stepped on reasonable duties i damn sure wouldnt put any faith in me. ppl drop the ball, have off days, need some time, etc all that tom-fuckin-foolery BUT if i said i'd handle it, do it, be there- i will.
i wanted you there.
and i dnt think ppl realize how hard it can be to admit somethings a loud. i slick think that if you never say it it doesnt exist, it never happened, and youll never have to face it. but ive said it. ive said all thru this damn blog. someone has been a constant theme in a lot of posts and to admit that ive been "missing you" is not osmething i say lightly. i dnt become fond of ppl (period) because they pul some dumb shyt and im usually the one fucked.
i joke a lot but some things i say are actually meant to bring about some type of outcome. im not a demanding person by any means but if i said it, i meant it, and when i say things and nothing happens i kinda wish i woulda saved my breath, took a nap, or if it just had to be said i woulda said it to my damn dorm room. and im not the average girl, a lot of stuff really doesnt bother me, give me a minute, a blog, and ill get over most things, but this/him i wanta shake him, i really cnt put it any other way. its not that crucial to cuss him out but a steady shae would rattle some things. and i say this with all sincerity "i dnt want to be his girl" but i wnt be nothing. -cringe, double negative- but anywho, everyone wants to know where they stand...and after making "progress" (i cnt think of a better word, maybe steps, uhm...hell idk) becoming very good friends it baffles me that we have stumbled back to damn near strangers, slick like facebook friends. like you kow how youre walking to class and see a familiar face just to realize you became friends online. thats wack! WACK! yes this is some mild rambling, i really started to digress but if you stuck with me you dug it.
ill leave you all with this.
say it, mean it, do it.