Wednesday, November 18, 2009

broken hearted

miss me? ya, i miss you too.

so today...all bad. i mean ALL bad. ok thats a lie. it started well, went well...til the end. then it was officially the END. more often than not i find that when things happen, when things fall apart, im always the shoulder, always THAT friend to go to and lean on. im always everyone else's support. but today as it all hit the fan, like i said it would, and the tears fell im holding one friend and consoling another. i generously offer words of comfort and optimism to every one. but where was my support? where was my shoulder? so many times im always there for everyone else and there's no one there for me. i have great friends i really do. and in this situation i know everyone was in the same boat but the fact is i give myself away, offering all i can to everyone and instead of feeling like... good (i need a better word, but oh well) i feel drained. emotionally and physically. maybe ppl dont mean to be so selfish and greedy but they are. now of course there were those who hastened to my side and offered a sad eye, a gasp, and a "so what now" but at the moment when everything i planned for everything i prayed for fell apart at my feet i was left to gather the pieces on my own. that gets old fast.
i believe that everyone has a talent, a gift. mine is support. im naturally supportive. ppl come to me and lean on me and thats fine im strong enough for that. but when i give and give and give and rarely get it back...that makes me wanna collect my support and keep it for myself. i need someone in my corner just like the next girl. im not a "lonely" person but im feeling a little alone right now.
i needed you today, and while your reasons were legit...i needed you none the less. i needed you not to let go. maybe i expect too much...it wouldnt be the first time.

-Maya

1 comment:

FaithsLove said...

im here when you need me...just a phone call away..always