you kno how you never had intentions of making someone feel bad, used, unappreciated, or the like and that's how it ended it up coming off...you kno how BADD that makes you look and feel. I've always been the one to taken advantage of and forgotten and now that I'm getting the very clear feeling that I've done that to you...I'm more than sorry, ever so apologetic, and so sad. mostly because I know I was wrong. I didn't see it as being wrong as events beyond my control were happening and somethings I thought at the time for the best but when it was brought to my attention and I saw it in your face it was like a knife just like "way to go Maya its only the first day!" usually I could care less if someone is mad or offended by something I do but that couldn't be less tru right now. before I really lie down ima pray that God would show me this from the other point of view because I wanta better understand so that sincerely I can know the other party's feelings and logic......................................................................................................................................................................................................(sorry but I really need to stop and do this).................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. and He did just like I knew he would. I was just instantly remind of this EXACT situation and how I felt and kno that I would never-NEVER-want someone I care about this much to feel that way. sorry wnt fix it and any other apologies just dnt seem sincere when you've been hung out to dry I already know. so now I'm in a rock and a hard place (never shoulda let myself get here) but I gotta wedge myself out, and not even for my own discomfort but for her's.
xo is biting the bullet.
ps I definitely wrote all of this last night and never posted it.
pss I'm too scared to go read blogs this morning.
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