i opened this...

because ive had a few things on my mind. several of which, as usual ill keep to myself.
ima just ramble becasue i dnt have one set topic, call it point.blank.period. i call it runnin my mouth...
so some things are progressing and im really happy. you sir, make me happy. way to go for showing the initiative. off to a great start.
apparently nashville sucks deer dingy 'cause nothing is shaking for new yrs. i was gonna try to go to arlington to kick it with doodle but im not sure thats gonna work...
i look like a hebrew slave, i need my hair done. florence, my african-in a nonslave master way, finally brought her 8 language speakin ass back to the US. and im like so...parents im nappy headed who wants to hand over the 180....ya, ya, c'mon. wtf?! i dnt even know what "no" means! fuck yall talkin bout?! i look like a SLAVE! A RUNAWAY SLAVE, at that! im so mad.
walter parker will make a great dadd! its ok to spoil your girls, trust. even if they forget tp say thanks, one day theyll tatt it on their wrists. no better way ta say thanks! lol
peep this GARYtarded! get it??!! ya well get ya shyt together niggas got messages to send and yo ass needs to deliver.
im soooo proud of my bestfriend! he's growing up so fast. you gotta learn to pick the battles, not every risk is worth it. love you more than words.
ok let me say this. i have these friends, a couple. and lately theyve been struggling with a lot of things. i wnt air their business but i will dicuss the impact its had on me, 2 things...(pay attention sir)
1mistakes happen. if i tell you i made a mistake(nothing major), take my word for it, be glad i admitted it, and get over it.
2dnt belittle me or my emotions. if im telling you how i feel about something, if im trying to talk about an issue we're having, or im upset or something; do not make light, make less, or make fun of how i feel. and dnt you dare suggest that any of what i feel is BS. if it matters to me at least try to understand.
i really hate that i ever made my blog so personal to me. if you didnt know me, you'd probably find this blog boring and irrelevant. i made a wise choice not to say names but the majority of the ppl who actually follow this know who each perosn is...so really whats the point?! ima start discussing different stuff, music, art, tattos, fashion, etc. i dnt want this to always be a "dear diary, today i..." so coming soon enough ...it could all be so simple... will start to dabble in other things and leave my heart where it belongs, safe in the caves of my chest.

i just be fuckin up

i gave myself a list of assignments to do today and did i do them....nope! i did write two essays but i still have a slide show to do, rules to write, a psych movie evalution, and yes 2 more essays...so this is the new revised plan being that im going to kick it with some friends tonight instead of doing something constructive.
tomorrow! saturday November 29, 2008 i am.....
writing the other 2 essays
watching superbad and doing the movie evaluation
AND doing my laundry
-you may be saying "well Maya, what about all those group projects???"
ya well...
the rules are gonna wait til i get with my group
and the slide show is gonna wait til i get with my group

dnt say im procrastinating im simply shifting shyt around so i can do more nothing because we all know im damn good at that!

sounds like a plan to me!
take that Mr.Man i make all sorts of plans, all sorts of GOOD plans! im a muthaf'in planner!

forever?! ...let me not tell on myself

so im sitting talking to the lovely Le about you guessed it...BOIZ! a girls fav past times! lol
so this is what was covered...
i slick forgot...
ok, wait for me.....
ok here we go!
dating at this age is definitely when ppl meet "that" person...like wtf?!
and ya im hopelessly romantic but that most def ruins my hope of the hotty in the grocery store...damn!
i like boiz that are slick outta my "league" (i really dnt limit myself like that but we all hav leagues just be real) so a man that is on his shyt, is very attractive. if youre swag is thru the roof it just makes me wanta step my game up. i like a challenge.
marriage-bump bump buuuuuummmppp!!! the "M" word lmaoso i would like to get married play house all that but i really cnt see when ima hav time for that.
kids i want some but i really dnt know when ima hav time for that.
and of course we talked about sex...oh yes, sex lmao.
niggas in suits will get the business. there's nothing more sensual thing than slipping off ties and undoing all the buttons of a dress shirt. ya, i said it.
late nights, if im sleepy, i get touchy feely-dnt try me, ill try you back.
im hella tricklish, and very sensitive to touch.
let me stop...
we clearly discussed a hell of a lot more than this but im not about to tell on myself
xo

what you never saw

if nice guys finish last, then good girls must get played.
guys always say they want a good girl, i mean really what dude wants a hoe nasty skank. every man wants a girl they can take home to mama and do her in your old bed. lol na but im dead ass.
ok you know what let me say this, IM F'IN SICK OF ALWAYS BEING A "GOOD GIRL" no i dnt wanta be hoe or mess/talk to a whole bunch of dudes but i wanta be appreciated, i wanta be important,and i want someone to notice.
im really sick of subliminal blogs about him, ugh!
so someone anywhere please, tell me why everyone else seems to notice all my greatness, my coolness, my beauty, my love and you dnt. and if you did, you obviously werent as impressed. if someone should so run into this individual shake him for me. ill admit it ya, he did make me happy, we had some good times- "entertaining". but if there is one thing i HATE, its feeling like ive wasted my time. and i feel like i wasted time, invested empty emotions, talked a whole bunch of bullshyt, and now that we're back to being strangers im stuck wondering, because as bad her siuation is at least she knows the day that everything ended, at least she can pinpoint the time the bridge from her to him crumbled, me on the other hand...im here replaying any and every day just to see if there was a hint i missed, something that went over my head, something that went unsaid...because apparently the signals got crossed and we got lost.
i feel bad for the guys who got hurt, and now we have to clean up the mess.
i feel bad for the girls stuck cleaning up that mess.
i feel bad for all the good guys that finish last but even worse for the good girls that get played.

well damn

point.blank.period

some things are better left to the imagination. the idea of something/someone is better off replayed in the mind
whatever drink jamal makes, ill drink
i was stressin, but it turned out cool
clay and some chic had SEX all on the dance floor, i was slick ja-ja-jealous lol
bro, you almost got the business. dnt tempt me.
dori be tossin it!
le and them baby arms lol
im dawg ass tired!
"tell yo roommate stop bullshittin'" chris green
"eric kelly, what are you doing?" "im...walking toward the door" lol (cover the smile)
marquita aka marcus.....well damn, who knew
swaghouse society ent, we in here man and we aint goin no where
we didnt get ta make tha strawberry sneaker -sad face-
the line was crossed....3 times lol
mr. Man....if you only knew.....
we were hott tonight. go crayonz!
frankie and that damn body roll!
Le has to get up at 7! thats in like 3 hours....whampwhamp.
dnt wake me up
i have ta babysit tomorrow....whamwhamp
i dnt like kids right now
apparently i havent been ta the club and danced in a good lil min, my thighs kinda tingle, no bueno
clearly i need ta get my tatt game up,dori put my shyts ta shame! geez bro!
i wnt lie, i did get jealous when i saw her on him, but then i realized....shes slick ugly
a certain someone has been semi fired, but is definitely eligible for rehire but ill need several reccomendations but i do miss him
bestfriend be gettin it! i f'in love him! Corretta and Martin all day, bro!
aight bros, im out man i cnt hang like i used to. there was a time when i couold....man fuck that shyt, scratch that, nevermind the previously started statement im too tired for this.
excuse any and all errors and grammatical issues in this post im slightly....tweeked.
xoxo
g'night

i think...

im about to cry and im not exactly sure why.
i just read Dori's blog-laughed my ass off! thank you Dori...
but she had this little prayer at the end for all of traveling and it slick touched me in the most elementary way i just wanta say "thank you" all of you. sometimes i think that God always a smile for me, in spite of my many flaws (i was about to list a few but i would need 2 blogs, a nap, and a snack) but he just keeps blessing me. and i think that honestly he should probably smite me, i can do some terrible things at times and i dnt listen to the good judgement He's given me and i dnt nearly deserve the good grace ive been shown. so "thank you. for loving me when i dnt even love myself at times" i guess that goes to my friends as well, because we've had some really good convo's since we've all split for break. (idk what we're gonna for Christmas! like oh-eme-gee this is gonna be no bueno) but i thiank them as well for always standing my me my little go babis whoot whoot for a smile and a kind word for all those hugs and countless giggles. Bless them please God, bless them indeed.
Dorian has a song on her page, i suggest you all go listen and read along. actually read it first and then listen its makes it even better. i think its gonna be my new theme songs. its deep.
and then, yes again from dori's, im reading the new love interest (draw a question mark in the air-shrug-"burf?!") but ive realized in light of recent events that have and are transpiring that im taking back a lot of what ive said before back and this time it'll be different because i wanta make some things work. and yes im stubborn and i shout and ill cut you out (i swear and i spit -so not cute,sorry) and im always in such a hurry to be everywhere with everybody and do everything but there's something in him that says take your time love, there's no need to rush its your life sweetheart. i just wish i knew some of what he feel, not necessarily about me, but about everything. ppl give their own variations of "him"...i want to form my own opinions, 'cause i saw somebody on the couch in the heat of the summer and again in the drunken early morning air and i dnt think he's the same person sitting on his car or high stepping every weekend.
the heart and the mind are very ridiculous organs, forever interlocked, and continuously at battle. im convincing my self of somethings only to feel something different. damn.

man...

i just saw the movie Quarantine! that shyt there was scary as hell! im officially spooked. i would say go see it but im like slick afraid of all sick ppl, animals (esp dogs and rats) and im no longer believing anything in the media. go see it and youll be feeling the same way....

ps-SAWGHOUSE SOCIETY ENT. if you miss it....well, damn dnt get mad SWAG! now get wit it or get lost

untitle-able

she told me that life is unpredictable, yet we all know how it ends. so lets hold hands and slow dance, and if it starts to rain let your head fall back and be baptized again. soaking wet, we'll lose our grip on everything, you to me and me to you but ill let you fly and still pray youll come back to me God will let you keep it, if its truly meant to be. if not then "ha ha ha ha haa" right up in his face there's more fish in the sea. but realize, many rivers think theyre oceans, and many puddles think theyre streams but if i was you i would seize the moment, make sure there's no air in between, and hope that God sheds some mercy, and never let go of me...

the irony

daily, probably more than once a day, i check our blogs (Dori, Le, Frankie, and The Crayonz) and it appeared to me this reoccurring theme of half ass saying whats on our mind and how we feel. im not saying we hold back or water down the truth, but in light of recent events ive noticed that we dnt say names, we semi walk around the major issues, and a lot of the time we dnt even say it. is it because we're afraid of what ppl would say? our own repercussions for admitting the truth? are we shy? ashamed? i think some of it is about propriety, you cnt just say what ever walks into your head, a lot ppl wouldnt like me anymore... oh well. there is a shyt load of stuff to say in my head and i never do, i think thats true for all of us. this interests me because we all agreed that these blogs are personal property and that whomever should so read it cnt actually be offended. i guess im saying all that to say this...these blogs will never truly be ours. we have published our souls in a sense, releasing it to the public for analysis, criticism, and rebuke. and i gotta admit sometimes when random ppl bring up this blog i feel like im naked in front of a crowd. its a rush tho, to know i just said that to the world, THE WORLD! like anyone who googles me or anything close enough to me will find this, find me, uncensored and honest. wow....thats kinda got me buggin. but really,the majority of "worth while" posts are the effects of other ppl, the sweet things theyve said, the heartache for the things they didnt or even did, whatever they do that effects us we capture the moment and post it for the world. thus, they kind of become the property of those who have given us some mild revelation. thats slick bogus. i think ima start writing in my blog. i used to be a rather talented writer idk if i still have it tho. we'll see i guess. the irony, i write almost every day, but i have yet to really write. as if to say i am alive every day but ive yet to live. i started this blog for me, but ive pretty much dedicated it to you. as if to say im handing you me via email. we all have, in some way, shape, or form, dedicated our blogs, for the most part, to the memorial of one person, their events, our thoughts of them, and their screw up's and ours. i guess we all have our mr. monotony in a way. i just kinda wonder when will all of this, all the silly things we write, all the vivid imagery we weave, when will we wrap in the blanket? when do we stop existing and live? when do we stop writing and finally read the book? i guess there are still chapters to develop, still moments to capture, still blogs to post...

bruh i slick disappeared

so i been gon, kidnapped, sleep face muthafuckin down, and i aint even been by ta show the love lets recap some dope moments. this might be semi point.blank.period. but stay with me.

reggie swann aka bestfriend has become a regular in 608. i like that live doesnt seem to mind but he really doesnt have anything to worry about.

we went to church sunday and God definitely delivered a word to me. He'll bless you in spite of.

dorian townsend is officially inducted into the clique. from this day forward plez refer to her as Storm.

Le is a mac. 'nuff said. the coach is back.

we've learned a valuable lesson, dnt put your emotions into a fb status for the world see. you cnt legitimately be mad at someone else's status. and live gives great advice once again whoopty whoop.

Grey's Anatomy is back! Bestfriend and I are watching it together in 527 every thursday because we're a muthafuckin team!

Rock band is our official game!

we have stayed up all night every night all week, no sleep. and we still cut the hell up all week!

im running out of lotion, rapidly. the ash will soon overcome me.

israel nellis likes my roomie, then again who doesnt like my roomie.

an ex showed up and confessed his unwavering love for me and all of asked me to be his girlfriend, uhm no. sorry. not really sorry but im polite.

oh, me and Dori took Austin and Troy to walmart! f'in hilarious. MAGNUMS!

dori makes me say bad words.

praise God, my stepdad is doing way better. but his family is a bunch of whining ass hoochies. i wanted to bitch slap somebody.

petty hoes need a swift kick in the face. dnt ever let me catch yo triflin ass with my name in yo mouth again or will disinfect the fuck outta your face! try me.

ima really stop cussing...tomorrow. unless somebody commits some fuckery and it needs to be addressed.

i wanta kiss you, there i said. dnt bring it up again.

we watch a lot of disney movies-correction, we watch of fuckin' MULAN! geez frankie, give a rest its a damn tape.

ugh! im cussing. shyt-ooh, i mean.... shoot

i change jeans entirely too much

Le has allergies and she's sniffling, but she sniffles like a child every 5 seconds and ima rip that little nose off her face. mostly for her relief but partially for my nerves :-)

i ♥ country muzik.

this week has been a dope ass...oh just dope week. see, thats some bullshyt, with some cussing the whole sentence loses its sense of importance. i mean really who decided certain words were curse words anyway?! dori says that some nigga was sitting around bored and pulled some random words outta his ass and decided these would be inappropriate words. thats wack as shyt

Le calls us asses. ass 1 ass 2 ass 3. so me and dorian decided to make it official. im the rude ass, dori is the bitch ass, frankie is moody ass, and Le is the hott ass(like fast hott not pretty hot, all bad)

ugh im cussing! shyt-i mean...shoot

Le has terrible aim, she frequenty throws things waaaaayyyy too slow to be effective.

im fuckin cougar bruh! really my nerves are just bad. but im tall so im a giraffe and a cougar so im a gi-ougar.

Le wants me to kick her ass

Dori is an awesome nose blower

i cnt blow my nose

and Le's nose is leaking

youll notice there's not much in here about Frankie because she deserted us for that boi and sleep! no bueno.

hey do me a favor, if you read my blog shoot me a text i wanta know who reads this. if you dnt hav my number hit me up on facebook or something

"i can hear everything i have musical ears" well can you hear dog whistles and this FUCK OFF!

ugh cussing. oh well, oh f'in well!

sunday afternoon's random thoughts

im a very disatisfied sprint customer. this damn summer sucks! me and summer '08 are on terrible terms. period. i have a treo and this bitch freezes like dry ice! im like o-m-g! can i catch a damn break. btwn working like a slave, my dumb ass fam, this silly "relationship" aka friendships and ppl period, all my broken promises to myself,and this bullshyt phone im fucking stuck!
i dnt lie and i do my best to be very upfront and honest with whomever i call myself to be "dealing" with-that has never been more misunderstood and ill received than this summer. if you dnt want the honest truth, dnt ask me. if you wanta run tha risk of me breaking your face, ask me. i would never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings but im running out of "nice" so im left with just SPICE! lol
my futile attempts at being grown and employed are not at all what i was expecting, and if this is adulthood i revolk my application. i hav no intentions of working like a slave and never receiving any gratitude.
next, "relationships"...nigga WHAMP, WHAMP. 'nough said. there is really no pt in looking for love or the like. bump it, i got a crush on me! now answer these questions: what's your fave ice cream? cookie dough. what's your fav soda? rootbeer. like music? LOVE music. well damn-i love YOU! lol (inside) relationships/ friendships, all that, are built on the littlest of similarities. if you like the things i like, well hell i like you. im not inclined to a lot of change but i do like to try new things, now wether i incoporate them into my life is entirely up to me. i dnt respond well to ludicrous pressures. stability is very appealing to me. and maybe i cnt cook, but i can grill. and i think im a great gf and one day ill make an even a better wife. so there! lol
i just had a few things on my mind and a lil spare time...so i thought i'd drop a line or ninety lol so there ya go.

-xoxo