btter...?

so one of my lil' play sisters recently broke up with her booskie. and i was being the nosey big sis and looking thru her phone and i read all these texts from him, old obviously, saying how happy he is that he met her, and how much she's brought to her life, and that in 3-4 years if theyre still together which he prays they are that he'll marry her. and in the midsts of all my hopeless romance i find mysef thinking that nigga dnt mean that shyt! and then i was just like whoa! bitter, maya? ya i think i am, maybe even jeaous...as much as i care for him i really need to hear those kind of things. we've always had a love hate relationship, and maybe its my faut for never requesting that kind of honesty. i know i can say all that and i know he can too, but it always comes as a last resort. he got me back with that honesty, showing his true feelings, letting me know i matter, but i dnt get that now and with us 100's of miles apart every day i need to know that i mean something, that this-whatever we're calling it-that it's worth the widespread lands and mountains. once again, im just feeling like im in it on my own...

xo, i guess